Perhaps my favorite Christmas sketch of all time. Steve Martin expressing his Christmas wish. Simple, subtle, yet hillarious. Have a good holiday everyone.
Friday, December 24
It's Friday and Tis the Season.
Monday, December 20
Dan Connolly Lives the Wide Man's Dream
Perhaps the greatest big man doing athletic things highlight in the history of the NFL. Jumbo Elliot has to be impressed. The Packers decision to squib it before the half turned the tide of the game, perhaps because Connolly's rumbling put the Earth temporarily off it's axis. It has been comfirmed that this is the longest kick return by a large man in the history of the NFL at 71 yards. Amazing that this return happened on the same day as Desean Jackson's throat rip of the Giants, which was so amazing it even made Joe Buck break monotone.
Friday, December 17
Bowl Picks, Waitress Please Bring Some More Bowl Picks
I think I've got cabin fever. Bowl season kicks off Saturday. If 6-6 BYU and UTEP does not get you excited than nothing will. Don't worry, I am not going to go into a college football playoff discussion or mock the horrible names of the bowls or say there are too many (well I will slightly). Let's take a look at all 35(!) bowls and I will make a horrible educated guess on who will win. Read on....for entertainment purposes only of course.
Tuesday, December 14
His Name Is Al Golden
This was his past.
This is his present and future:
I went from cautiously optimistic at the time of the hire to pumped and confident after yesterday. I think this was a great fit. As Kent Brockman once said, "From now on we'll all be taking golden showers. What?"
Friday, December 10
It's Friday, so Go Army
Tomorrow Army and Navy will meet on the field of friendly strife for the 111th time. A great read on the history can be found here. The Black Knights of Army have not won since 2001 but the program is back on the upswing. They will attend their first bowl game since 1996 when they face SMU in the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl. Navy had another strong year, but not as good as last year. All three of the academies are playing bowl games this year, with Air Force winning the Commander in Chief's trophy after wins against both Army and Navy.
Army's last game was a debacle against Notre Dame in the new Yankee Stadium in which they only mustered 3 points and those came in the first quarter. Since both they and Navy run versions of the triple option it is interesting to see how they attack each other. I have a feeling the game comes down to a few wrinkles the teams have thrown into their offensive gameplan and who executes them. It is a great tradition and a great chance for these young men along with the armed service men and women they represent to be recognized. Speaking of traditions, one of them is for the Cadets and Middies to craft videos for the upcoming battle. Here is one such video that was obviously made in the Army camp and (I'm guessing) in the spirit of fun. Since I'm rooting for them tomorrow, they get the honors.
Jose Calderon, Defensive Stud
The Bobcats were close to acquiring Jose Calderon during the off-season. Allegedly, Larry Brown put the kibosh on the deal at the last possible moment. Although the video was originally made to highlight Rony Turiaf's dancing, Calderon's defense is infinitely more humorous to yours truly. How could Larry not want him?
Wednesday, December 8
NCAA Inspired by Top Gun
Get Kenny Loggins on the horn right away. The NCAA voted last year to put sand volleyball as an emerging sport for women in college athletics. It will begin in next August. There are a few theories as to why a new sport such as this would be introduced. Obviously title IX plays a part here. By the proposals it appears there will only be a maximum of 14 counters so it is not a tremendous swing but it is something. Facilities for housing the sport should not be too much of a committment, you just need a sand pit.
This of course points to the sad fact that men's non-revenue sports are dissapearing faster than the Amazonian rainforest. Why incorporate a sport that will obviously be prevalent mostly in geographically favorable areas? Also there has been some concern over what impact this will have on the traditional indoor volleball game.
There continues to be a struggle over creating fair and equitable opportunities under Title IX as it exists while balancing the issue of the financial health of athletic departments. The NCAA (meaning its members) sees sand volleyball as a viable course of action to aid in these areas. No word on whether the uniform of choice will be jeans though.
Division I to consider parameters for sand volleyball [NCAA]
Tuesday, December 7
Blowout Win Says a Lot, but not Everything
I enjoyed the epic 45-3 beatdown the Patriots gave the Jets last night as much as anyone. For the past week I have heard all the media hype and all the analysts up here discuss why the Jets are the better team and even if they did not win, they would keep it close. With an extra three days to prepare given to both teams, New England sliced and diced the Jets defense. On the other side of the ball, the sometimes porous Patriot defense instituted the "bend but don't break" philosophy that Belichick seemingly has crafted to perfection. Rex Ryan looked lost for words on the sideline, which isn't easy. Mark Sanchez was completely out of his element (Donny) and soon turned to jawing with receivers and throwing blindly into coverage.
It was a total immasculation. However, it is not the end of the season. For either team. The Pats now have the leg up on the division but still 4 games left. No game in the NFL is a easy one but they are at the Bears, home against Green Bay, at Buffalo, and then hosting Miami. The Jets host Miami, then are at Pittsburgh, at Chicago, and then finish with Buffalo. A lot could happen within those four games.
The sentiment today is going to be that Brady is flawless and the Pats are the clear best team in the AFC but one humiliation doesn't make a season. Nothing is secured right now and although it appears the Patriots realize that, they better perform like it if they want to get homefield. Still, it is pretty nice. These Pats seem to be a hybrid of 2004 and 2007 and they finally realized that variety on offense is the only way to succeed. Last year and early this season they seemed resigned to what Randy Moss was going to give them and crafted the offense arround that. Getting Branch back and replacing Laurence Maroney with BenJarvis Green-Ellis has made a tremendous difference. With Logan Mankins back on the offensive line they are giving Brady enough time even if allowing a sack on occasion.
The Patriots will never be back in 2007 form, but they have proven to still be in the upper echelon of the league for a decade. There is a lot of football to be played but at least for today they can earn a tip of the cap (or in Donald Trump's case, a flop of the hair).
Friday, December 3
It's Friday....So Let It Be?
I really don't know how to explain this. A bunch of random celebrities, many from the past, singing and some lip-synching along to Let It Be which seems to be orgnaized by some Scandinavian dudes in red sweaters. Even that does not do it justice. Just watch, somehow find meaning in this and apply that meaning to your own life and I'm sure something positive will happen. Let it be this weekend, don't go beyond your bounds, don't try to be a hero or popular girl/guy, just let things happen. We're all going to get through this.
(H/T: TST)
[Update: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Video removed...but I found another one...and that one was yanked too. Why can this not be shared with the world?]
Thursday, December 2
A Requiem For Randy Shannon: What This Says About The U
Did Randy Shannon deserve to be fired?
Yes. Let me repeat what I said on Monday: you will not find a better man in college football coaching anywhere. Randy Shannon overcame tremendous odds just to make it to Miami, let alone be a part of three national championship teams. Only a horrible person who passes themselves off as a Hurricane fan would hold any hostility toward him. That being said, the man was not cut out to be the head coach of this team. It hurts to type it but it is the truth.
Shannon did wonders in the classroom and off the field. His grad rates were bested only by Army and Navy and his APR score was even better than Stanfords. His single arrest during his tenure came when Robert Marve, who would later transfer to Purdue, broke a car mirror during a fight with his girlfriend. Those accomplishments are commendable, they are praiseworthy, and they are what got him his contract extension last year and would have kept him at UM another season. I believe in these goals the program as much as anyone, but it cannot be the single driving force behind football at your school if football is your main source of athletic revenue. Ideally, you want to run a clean program that is successfull academically and win football games. Shannon only gave you one of the two.
Can I pinpoint the problem? No. I have heard various stories from everywhere. Yes, I have a few (very few) contacts on the inside that I heard rumblings from. Shannon was too loyal to certain players, Whipple was forced on Shannon and the two never got along, the players didn't agree with Whipple's playcalling, etc. The bottom line was the performance on the field. 28-22, 16-16 in a mediocre ACC, 0-2 in bowl games. The final game against South Florida was an appropriate final straw. The Canes out-matched the Bulls on paper with first-year coach Skip Holtz setting out to rebuild the program. Miami went scoreless in the first half. Then with the game tied at 10, Storm Johnson seemingly saved the day with a 71 yard scamper. Yet in crunch time, the Canes let a true freshman walk-on who was replacing the injured starter B.J. Daniels march down the field for the tying TD. South Florida won in overtime. The Randy Shannon era was encapsulated in a nutshell.
Going 7-5 with the talent on this team is simply inexcusable. The great recruiting classes Shannon pulled in have matured in age, but not development. All year long, asinine penalties, lapses in concentration, and foolish turnovers costs them games. Shannon never even came close to playing for an ACC title and when he did, the team choked. For all the good that Shannon did, one of the basic tennants of coaching at Miami is winning games playing in big time bowl games. His failure to accomplish these goals and the regression of his results deservedly led to his firing.
While I mentioned above the off the field work Shannon did let me ask you something: did the perception of Miami's football program ever change? College football is an old boy system. Just look at the schools that stay on top on the bowl system in place opertaing under the guise of non-profits. People hold onto old ideals, whether it is the "magic" of Notre Dame or the "tradition" of southern football. The point is the detractors still subscribed to the theory that the U was a bunch of thugs. So the academic progress should strictly be an insitutional goal, and not used as a public item. No one was mentioning Miami's successes in this area while Shannon was coaching, but once he was fired people came out supporting him for that reason alone.
Now that the Gruden rumors seem to be dying away, Miami has a real chance to turn the corner like they did way back with Schnellenberger, with Jimmy, and with Butch Davis. If they get the right coach that can use the talent and fertile recruiting grounds famously termed the "State of Miami" by Schnellenberger then Miami should be competing for a BCS bowl every season. There is a notion being floated around that Miami is short on money and facilities. Once again, this is people working on notions that are old and out-dated. The issue of playing in Sun Life Stadium is what it is, there will never be an on-campus football stadium and there are much worse places to watch a game than Sun Life. Considering Edgerrin James helped get a new weight room built and NFL players still spend their summers there working out and that The Rock donated money to get new locker rooms built, I'd say facilities are on doing okay. They don't have a behemoth museum like some schools but you definitely are not left wanting. Add to this a new $5 million plan to renovate the athletic center does not give the appearance of struggling either.
The other factor when it comes to money is the firing itself. Shannon had just signed a four-year extension before the season, which came with a buyout. Someone had to step up and swallow that money for the school because the athletic department itself sure as hell was not footing the bill. Then added to that AD Kirby Hocutt is reportedly willing to offer $3-4 million per year for a new coach. There is clearly some money in the coffers at the U.
Miami has a niche in college football. It is not your traditional big conference school that churns out mobs of mouth-breathing fans every year. Our fraternity of fandom is pretty small, almost minuscule compared to the football powers. But it's one I am proud to be a part of. When I traveled down to the U this October and partied and tail-gated with what turned out to be a 60% full Sun Life Stadium, I couldn't care less about a full house. I was there to support my team with others I knew cared as much about them as I did. The value of your football program is not measured in attendance, how well your fans travel, or message board traffic. Miami has risen to the upper echelon of college football with a low rating in all those categories. The U is the exception to the rule, gate crashers that turned college football on its side and some people are never willing to let that go. We cannot duplicate our history but we can build on it. This year there will most likely be a Hurricane taken in the first round after a one year absence. Prior to that it had been 20 years straight. The strength of the U is the former players who come back and connect with the present players to show them it is a special thing to wear the U on their helemt. That may come off sounding cheesy but it is true. The strength of the U is players like Santanna Moss, who were not highly recruited but played with a chip on their shoulder and were willing to outwork anyone else.
Miami needs a coach who will foster this strength but not let it keep the program from moving forward. Acknowledge the past, but make your own destiny in the record books. Unlike when Shannon took over, the cupboard is full of talent that is waiting for someone to take them to the next level. There's nothing we can do but wait. If I had to throw a name out there since it seems clear that Gruden will not become the coach, it is Dan Mullen. He knows the state, he knows offensive football, and he has finished with a better record than Miami this year with far less talent.
I hope Randy does well wherever he goes and he is still appreciated for all the years he put in, but as Tom Petty once said, it's leaving time.
Wednesday, December 1
But He Gets To Play
According to facts of the case agreed upon by Auburn University and the NCAA enforcement staff, the student-athlete's father and an owner of a scouting service worked together to actively market the student-athlete as a part of a pay-for-play scenario in return for Newton's commitment to attend college and play football. NCAA rules (Bylaw 12.3.3) do not allow individuals or entities to represent a prospective student-athlete for compensation to a school for an athletic scholarship.
via
Monday, November 29
The Times They Are A-Changin'
More on Randy Shannon coming. Here is the statement he released:
I am proud of the last four years at the University of Miami and what we have been able to accomplish. I have a deep respect and appreciation for the young men who have played here during my tenure.
We established three winning seasons; continually improved in the Atlantic Coast Conference over the last four years; brought in strong recruiting classes; and just as importantly, made tremendous strides off the field with our academic progress rate and graduation success rate among the best nationally.
I believe that I leave the Hurricanes football program with a stronger foundation upon which they can continue to build. I thank President Shalala for the opportunity. Those that know my history know of my passion and dedication to the 'U', and only want success for this University moving forward.
--Randy Shannon
Before I write my big summation piece on the situation, I just want to say you will not find a better man in college football coaching anywhere. I am a passionate fan but nothing can change what Shannon has meant to the program at The U. I wanted Shannon to lead Miami to success on the field as bad as anyone. It's been two days and I still do not have a good handle on how I feel about everything. One thing I do know is that I am frustrated about why it came to this.
At least Andre Johnson knows how to let off some steam for the U's frustrations.
via
Friday, November 26
What's Wrong With Gerald Wallace?
Few players in the NBA have the career arc of Gerald Wallace. A first round pick to the end of the bench in Sacramento, where he became a fan favorite for his dunking prowess. Then shipped off to the new Charlotte franchise in the expansion draft, where he was propelled from mop-up duty to starter. Once Emeka Okafor departed he became the face of the young team and ultimately named to the All-Star team and all-defensive first team in the same season. This season, however, something is different and not in a good way.
Wednesday, November 24
Happy Thanksgiving: When A Turkey Survives
Happy Turkey Day everyone. This is without a doubt my favorite holiday of the year. A whole day of cooking, drinking, smelling food, drinking, parades, football, drinking, eating, football, drinking, and drinking while watching football. The air is fall crisp and it's the last big celebration before the dead of winter barrels down upon us.
As my family and I have gotten older the Thanksgiving traditions have changed slightly. We live in different parts and rarely all get together now but I'm looking forward to seeing most and enjoying the things I listed above with them (mostly football and drinking!). The NFL has a slate of 3 games tomorrow for your viewing pleasure. Now the games on this day are not always entertaining but it fits into the ambience of the holiday.
Patriots @ Lions: Naturally I think this is a great game because I have a rooting interest. The Lions lost Matt Stafford which is horribly unfortunate. Unlike most of the country I am rooting for the Pats and unlike most of the country I want this to be a blowout.
Saints @ Cowboys: Just think of every Cowboy fan you know. How many of them are reasonable, level-headed people? The Saints have been so quiet this season I fear for the city of New Orleans. Could another disaster be on the way? I like the Saints in this game, I think they are prime for one of their stretches of brilliant tactical offensive execution.
Bengals @ Jets: Lot of vitriol at the Jets for "getting lucky" but if the Lions don't much up their clock management, Chancey Stuckey holds onto the damn ball, or the Texans pass defense doesn't do its impression of the Hindenburg then the Jets have no shot to pull those wins out of their asses. Fact of life is the Jets are 8-2. I don't like that fact any more than you do but it is what it is. The Bengals are an absolute chemical train wreck. Jets take this one in a laugher this time.
We now come to one thought I had about a Thanksgiving tradition. The President did his usual pardoning of a turkey at the White House today. Pardoning 'Apple' and 'Cider' from certain doom. I wonder how these birds feel about themselves afterwards. Are they overwrought with guilt over being sparred while so many of their kind were hacked up and stuffed with bread product? Is there sheer joy at getting a second chance at life? Perhaps they are planning an uprising against humanity? I just imagine Apple walking out towards the edge of a field on his farm and peering deep into the distance of a sunsetting sky and trying to make sense of it all.
pic and turkey story via
Tuesday, November 23
VHS Boxes of Epicness
A friend sent me a link to this glorious list of the 30 Most Amazingly Terrible VHS Boxes of All Time. There are some ones in this list that will have you laughing, others will have you shaking your head. For sports relevance the one below features the late Lyle Alzado was "The Destroyer". Bask in the greatness of the picture, marel at why his jackhammer has a scope on it, puzzle over the tagline and wonder if they put Lyle's head on someone else's body. 
30 Most Amazingly Terrible VHS Boxes of All Time [Comics Alliance]
Monday, November 22
Patriots Prove Einstein's Theory on Insanity
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Einstein
One year ago, I had just moved up to New York and was crashing on my brother's couch while I looked for a place to live. On a Sunday night I headed out to a bar by myself to watch the Patriots and Colts play the Sunday night game. The Patriots jumped up to a 4th quarter 17 point lead and I left the bar and went home. On my brothers couch I prepared to watch the final seconds dwindle away. However, after a Maroney fumble and some conservative playcalling the Colts were right back in it. Bill Belichick was forced to go for it on 4th and 2 in his own territory. [Side note: I still maintain Faulk got that first down but there was no way the ref would have the onions to overturn it. Seriously, look at where Faulk's body is when he controls the ball after the bobble. Only his left leg is behind the 30.]
The Patriots did not keep attacking and that is what led to their downfall. As I sat there watching the game yesterday, I could not believe they were making the same mistake twice. Listen, I am a huge Tom Brady fan and he may be my favorite QB of all time but no one can run an offense like Peyton. In a game against the Colts, typically you have a certain number of Colts offensive possessions to implement your gameplan. After a certain point of no return (like the old mill in Back to the Future III) there is nothing you can do. Peyton will systematically break your defense into mush. That is when your defense has been as porous as the Pats has this year.
After the Patriots went up 17 they shut it down. They went to umbrella corporation mode and when you do that Peyton needs only a minute or two to score. The Colts had to bring in a no-name CB to play press coverage on Deoin Branch on 3rd down after the first TD of the 4th. He decided to manhandle Branch and got away with it. The refs were calling it light all game. Colts get the ball back and again drive right down the field and score. Now we get to the same position we were in last year. This year however, the Colts are decimated by injuries. Aside from Freeney and Mathis they are a patchwork defense. All the Patriots had to do was drive it down the field like they had been doing and they could have ended the game. They ran on first down, no problem there. They actually picked up a first down on the run. But then they ran it two more times with Indy stacking the box. A quick screen, a quick slant, a quick out, a pass to one of the TEs in the seem, anything would have gotten them down the field.
Indy had all 3 timeouts. Why are you playing kill the clock with over 3:00 left when number 18 has just shown you he needs less than two minutes to score? The Pats were left with 3rd and 9 and Brady almost threw a pick. At this point, I was hoping just to hold the Colts to a FG. Peyton picked on poor Pat Chung who had a horrible game in coverage. Down the field they went. Less than a minute left. Pats attempting to waste clock meant they would be left with no time themselves. Somehow, New England got a reprieve. Tully Banta-Cain's pressure forced an off throw and Garcon and Tamme running their routes too close together meant Sanders was close enough to intercept the pass.
This wasn't Terry Porter making the right read and stepping in front of Wayne in the Super Bowl. This was Sanders being in the right place at the right time when Peyton's throw was altered. The Colts might have gone for the home run a little early. The Patriots' defense has been bad this year, but they are young and Belichick has instituted the bend but don't break philosophy. When the Patriots have had a lead, that has changed into just try not to give up the big play. That has led to giving up big plays and points. It happened against the Jets, the Chargers and the Colts. They were fortunate to win two of those games.
I hope this philosophy changes when the playoffs get here because taking your foot off the gas is not a solid strategy. Killing the clock when your defense lets the offense score quickly is not going to work. The Pats escaped this time and have an inside track to home-field advantage. It would behoove them to learn from this game.
Friday, November 19
It's Friday and We Ain't Gettin' No Younger
Time is unstoppable. It keeps moving and as time moves, we can taken along in the current. Before you know it you are 30 years down river when you can lucidly remember your first Thudercats Christmas present, making out with Andrea at the movies (actually paying money to see Look Who's Talking Now), walking to your first class in high school, and your last race at the U. No use fighting it. Look into the past and enjoy it but don't mire yourself in it. The time you had is gone and you are not getting it back. Have a good weekend everyone and glance back but look forward, this could be the best decade yet.
Wednesday, November 17
It's Wednesday, Won't You Have a Link With Me?
Wednesday! What a horrid day. The phonetics of it just piss me off and it is the middle of the week so everyone uses the phrase "Hump Day". Like getting to Thursday solves everyones problems. Maybe I just hate Wednesday now because I don't get the luxury of playing trivia with Mookie Blaylock anymore.
Have you heard why Salvatore Giunta got the Medal of Honor earlier this week? If not take a look at what this guy did in Afghanistan. (Bonus! He's from Iowa) [Badassoftheweek]
Some good stuff cooking over at S & F. Some facts involved dispelling the myth of the big bad NCAA. [Sparty and Friends]
It will always be trivia Wednesday. Can you name the 100 greatest albums of the 80s according to Rolling Stone? If you can't name at least 25 get out of my sight. [Sporcle]
These are pretty cool. College basketball hype clouds. [Audacity of Hoops]
NFC is Nonsensical as Well
The other day we took look at the mired AFC picture where there are so many contenders it is hard to decide who stands near the top. Today we turn to the NFC which has the same problem to a smaller degree and a bunch of teams that leave you wondering if they are for real or not.
Monday, November 15
You Can't Make Sense of the AFC Right Now
It must be generating pageviews and the debate it stirs up to keep everyone putting up NFL power rankings. They really serve no tangible purpose. Discussion relative to how "good" football teams are can be constructive and used as a tool for reflecting on the season and what possibly lies ahead. However, often times they are taken either too seriously or used as concrete fact in debate. Most seasons you can ignore all that noise, but especially this year it becomes mindless droning. There are no fewer than 21 teams in the playoff race right now and while there may be some stratification within this group it is near impossible to pin down a clear-cut favorite.
Friday, November 12
It's Friday So Don't Blow It
Mr. Ilya Kovalchuk had a bad moment Wednesday when the Devils faced a shootout against the ASD adopted NHL team, the Buffalo Sabres. The man being paid $100 million dollars to put puck in net sent puck lazily adrift in the critical moment. He blew it. Our friend of the blog Walter Peck is a Devils fan (and a veteran [/belated salute!]) so I'm sure this play and the subsequent 4-10-2 record does not please him. Being winless at home is pretty dismal as well. The Sabres are a slightly less vomit-inducing 5-9-3. Fear not Jersey fans, Kovalchuk has 15 years to make that blunder up to you.
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