Monday, November 29

The Times They Are A-Changin'





More on Randy Shannon coming. Here is the statement he released:

I am proud of the last four years at the University of Miami and what we have been able to accomplish. I have a deep respect and appreciation for the young men who have played here during my tenure.

We established three winning seasons; continually improved in the Atlantic Coast Conference over the last four years; brought in strong recruiting classes; and just as importantly, made tremendous strides off the field with our academic progress rate and graduation success rate among the best nationally.

I believe that I leave the Hurricanes football program with a stronger foundation upon which they can continue to build. I thank President Shalala for the opportunity. Those that know my history know of my passion and dedication to the 'U', and only want success for this University moving forward.

--Randy Shannon


Before I write my big summation piece on the situation, I just want to say you will not find a better man in college football coaching anywhere. I am a passionate fan but nothing can change what Shannon has meant to the program at The U. I wanted Shannon to lead Miami to success on the field as bad as anyone. It's been two days and I still do not have a good handle on how I feel about everything. One thing I do know is that I am frustrated about why it came to this.

At least Andre Johnson knows how to let off some steam for the U's frustrations.



via

Friday, November 26

What's Wrong With Gerald Wallace?


Few players in the NBA have the career arc of Gerald Wallace. A first round pick to the end of the bench in Sacramento, where he became a fan favorite for his dunking prowess. Then shipped off to the new Charlotte franchise in the expansion draft, where he was propelled from mop-up duty to starter. Once Emeka Okafor departed he became the face of the young team and ultimately named to the All-Star team and all-defensive first team in the same season. This season, however, something is different and not in a good way.

Continue reading...

MJ's Mashed-Up Message to the King

No description necessary. Just watch and get chills.

Wednesday, November 24

Happy Thanksgiving: When A Turkey Survives


Happy Turkey Day everyone. This is without a doubt my favorite holiday of the year. A whole day of cooking, drinking, smelling food, drinking, parades, football, drinking, eating, football, drinking, and drinking while watching football. The air is fall crisp and it's the last big celebration before the dead of winter barrels down upon us.

As my family and I have gotten older the Thanksgiving traditions have changed slightly. We live in different parts and rarely all get together now but I'm looking forward to seeing most and enjoying the things I listed above with them (mostly football and drinking!). The NFL has a slate of 3 games tomorrow for your viewing pleasure. Now the games on this day are not always entertaining but it fits into the ambience of the holiday.

Patriots @ Lions: Naturally I think this is a great game because I have a rooting interest. The Lions lost Matt Stafford which is horribly unfortunate. Unlike most of the country I am rooting for the Pats and unlike most of the country I want this to be a blowout.

Saints @ Cowboys: Just think of every Cowboy fan you know. How many of them are reasonable, level-headed people? The Saints have been so quiet this season I fear for the city of New Orleans. Could another disaster be on the way? I like the Saints in this game, I think they are prime for one of their stretches of brilliant tactical offensive execution.

Bengals @ Jets: Lot of vitriol at the Jets for "getting lucky" but if the Lions don't much up their clock management, Chancey Stuckey holds onto the damn ball, or the Texans pass defense doesn't do its impression of the Hindenburg then the Jets have no shot to pull those wins out of their asses. Fact of life is the Jets are 8-2. I don't like that fact any more than you do but it is what it is. The Bengals are an absolute chemical train wreck. Jets take this one in a laugher this time.

We now come to one thought I had about a Thanksgiving tradition. The President did his usual pardoning of a turkey at the White House today. Pardoning 'Apple' and 'Cider' from certain doom. I wonder how these birds feel about themselves afterwards. Are they overwrought with guilt over being sparred while so many of their kind were hacked up and stuffed with bread product? Is there sheer joy at getting a second chance at life? Perhaps they are planning an uprising against humanity? I just imagine Apple walking out towards the edge of a field on his farm and peering deep into the distance of a sunsetting sky and trying to make sense of it all.

pic and turkey story via

Tuesday, November 23

VHS Boxes of Epicness

A friend sent me a link to this glorious list of the 30 Most Amazingly Terrible VHS Boxes of All Time. There are some ones in this list that will have you laughing, others will have you shaking your head. For sports relevance the one below features the late Lyle Alzado was "The Destroyer". Bask in the greatness of the picture, marel at why his jackhammer has a scope on it, puzzle over the tagline and wonder if they put Lyle's head on someone else's body.



30 Most Amazingly Terrible VHS Boxes of All Time [Comics Alliance]

Monday, November 22

Patriots Prove Einstein's Theory on Insanity


"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Einstein

One year ago, I had just moved up to New York and was crashing on my brother's couch while I looked for a place to live. On a Sunday night I headed out to a bar by myself to watch the Patriots and Colts play the Sunday night game. The Patriots jumped up to a 4th quarter 17 point lead and I left the bar and went home. On my brothers couch I prepared to watch the final seconds dwindle away. However, after a Maroney fumble and some conservative playcalling the Colts were right back in it. Bill Belichick was forced to go for it on 4th and 2 in his own territory. [Side note: I still maintain Faulk got that first down but there was no way the ref would have the onions to overturn it. Seriously, look at where Faulk's body is when he controls the ball after the bobble. Only his left leg is behind the 30.]

The Patriots did not keep attacking and that is what led to their downfall. As I sat there watching the game yesterday, I could not believe they were making the same mistake twice. Listen, I am a huge Tom Brady fan and he may be my favorite QB of all time but no one can run an offense like Peyton. In a game against the Colts, typically you have a certain number of Colts offensive possessions to implement your gameplan. After a certain point of no return (like the old mill in Back to the Future III) there is nothing you can do. Peyton will systematically break your defense into mush. That is when your defense has been as porous as the Pats has this year.

After the Patriots went up 17 they shut it down. They went to umbrella corporation mode and when you do that Peyton needs only a minute or two to score. The Colts had to bring in a no-name CB to play press coverage on Deoin Branch on 3rd down after the first TD of the 4th. He decided to manhandle Branch and got away with it. The refs were calling it light all game. Colts get the ball back and again drive right down the field and score. Now we get to the same position we were in last year. This year however, the Colts are decimated by injuries. Aside from Freeney and Mathis they are a patchwork defense. All the Patriots had to do was drive it down the field like they had been doing and they could have ended the game. They ran on first down, no problem there. They actually picked up a first down on the run. But then they ran it two more times with Indy stacking the box. A quick screen, a quick slant, a quick out, a pass to one of the TEs in the seem, anything would have gotten them down the field.

Indy had all 3 timeouts. Why are you playing kill the clock with over 3:00 left when number 18 has just shown you he needs less than two minutes to score? The Pats were left with 3rd and 9 and Brady almost threw a pick. At this point, I was hoping just to hold the Colts to a FG. Peyton picked on poor Pat Chung who had a horrible game in coverage. Down the field they went. Less than a minute left. Pats attempting to waste clock meant they would be left with no time themselves. Somehow, New England got a reprieve. Tully Banta-Cain's pressure forced an off throw and Garcon and Tamme running their routes too close together meant Sanders was close enough to intercept the pass.

This wasn't Terry Porter making the right read and stepping in front of Wayne in the Super Bowl. This was Sanders being in the right place at the right time when Peyton's throw was altered. The Colts might have gone for the home run a little early. The Patriots' defense has been bad this year, but they are young and Belichick has instituted the bend but don't break philosophy. When the Patriots have had a lead, that has changed into just try not to give up the big play. That has led to giving up big plays and points. It happened against the Jets, the Chargers and the Colts. They were fortunate to win two of those games.

I hope this philosophy changes when the playoffs get here because taking your foot off the gas is not a solid strategy. Killing the clock when your defense lets the offense score quickly is not going to work. The Pats escaped this time and have an inside track to home-field advantage. It would behoove them to learn from this game.

Friday, November 19

It's Friday and We Ain't Gettin' No Younger

Time is unstoppable. It keeps moving and as time moves, we can taken along in the current. Before you know it you are 30 years down river when you can lucidly remember your first Thudercats Christmas present, making out with Andrea at the movies (actually paying money to see Look Who's Talking Now), walking to your first class in high school, and your last race at the U. No use fighting it. Look into the past and enjoy it but don't mire yourself in it. The time you had is gone and you are not getting it back. Have a good weekend everyone and glance back but look forward, this could be the best decade yet.

Wednesday, November 17

It's Wednesday, Won't You Have a Link With Me?

Wednesday! What a horrid day. The phonetics of it just piss me off and it is the middle of the week so everyone uses the phrase "Hump Day". Like getting to Thursday solves everyones problems. Maybe I just hate Wednesday now because I don't get the luxury of playing trivia with Mookie Blaylock anymore.

Have you heard why Salvatore Giunta got the Medal of Honor earlier this week? If not take a look at what this guy did in Afghanistan. (Bonus! He's from Iowa) [Badassoftheweek]

Some good stuff cooking over at S & F. Some facts involved dispelling the myth of the big bad NCAA. [Sparty and Friends]

It will always be trivia Wednesday. Can you name the 100 greatest albums of the 80s according to Rolling Stone? If you can't name at least 25 get out of my sight. [Sporcle]

These are pretty cool. College basketball hype clouds. [Audacity of Hoops]

NFC is Nonsensical as Well

The other day we took look at the mired AFC picture where there are so many contenders it is hard to decide who stands near the top. Today we turn to the NFC which has the same problem to a smaller degree and a bunch of teams that leave you wondering if they are for real or not.

Continue reading...

Monday, November 15

You Can't Make Sense of the AFC Right Now

It must be generating pageviews and the debate it stirs up to keep everyone putting up NFL power rankings. They really serve no tangible purpose. Discussion relative to how "good" football teams are can be constructive and used as a tool for reflecting on the season and what possibly lies ahead. However, often times they are taken either too seriously or used as concrete fact in debate. Most seasons you can ignore all that noise, but especially this year it becomes mindless droning. There are no fewer than 21 teams in the playoff race right now and while there may be some stratification within this group it is near impossible to pin down a clear-cut favorite.

Continue reading...

Friday, November 12

It's Friday So Don't Blow It



Mr. Ilya Kovalchuk had a bad moment Wednesday when the Devils faced a shootout against the ASD adopted NHL team, the Buffalo Sabres. The man being paid $100 million dollars to put puck in net sent puck lazily adrift in the critical moment. He blew it. Our friend of the blog Walter Peck is a Devils fan (and a veteran [/belated salute!]) so I'm sure this play and the subsequent 4-10-2 record does not please him. Being winless at home is pretty dismal as well. The Sabres are a slightly less vomit-inducing 5-9-3. Fear not Jersey fans, Kovalchuk has 15 years to make that blunder up to you.

Tuesday, November 9

Someone Splooged on Oregon's Basketball Court

There can be no amount of surprise anymore as to what designs roll out of Eugene, Oregon. Phil Knight and his company are mad scientists when it comes to designs for his alma mater. Usually, it is the uniforms that grab people's attention but now the basketball court at the new Matthew Knight Arena. The facility is scheduled to open early next year and Oregon will certainly love the attention. The court design is supposed to evoke images of the tree-covered region of Oregon and the 1939 NCAA title team nicknamed the "Tall Firs". My first thought was that a giant got excited all over the court surface, but then again my mind is a twisted place.

Oregon’s New Court: An Unvarnished Rorschach Test? [Rush the Court]

Monday, November 8

Herb Was Not Properly Taught How to Dougie

Everyone seems to be very impressed with John Wall's Dougie, except scrotebag radio hosts. Here we have Herb Sendek giving it his best college try and failing horribly. Him being an old white man is not enough excuse for how bad this Dougie was.



Turns out the culprits were:

"the 3- and 4-year-old daughters of Arizona State assistant coach Lamont Smith.

They showed him how to do the Dougie before the Tip-Off event began but were too shy to get on stage with him to do it, so Sendek got on stage and delivered a solo performance."


I guess there will have to be an age limit instituted no when you can teach others the mysterious intricacies of the Dougie.

Good thing Herb Sendek is a better coach than a dancer [Rivals]

Friday, November 5

It's Friday and Kobe Is A NoobTuber

I am pretty excited for the new Call of Duty: Black Ops game to hit the shelves. It may be the first video game I get on the first day of release since...I can't even remember, Mario Kart Double Dash? Of course they have a badass commercial (Gimme Shelter is my favorite Rolling Stones song btw) to hype it up and features none other that Kobe himself.



Also, Jimmy Kimmel is in there as well with his RPG. I haven't given Kimmel much thought since the demise of the Man Show, but kudos to him for getting in on the action as well. I think it is fitting that Kobe is sporting the noobtube in the spot, especially since I loathe noobtubers. Nothing gives me more pleasure than a noobtuber wildly shooting away with his grenade launcher and missing while I line up a nice clean headshot. It appears they will still feature prominently in Black Ops so I'm sure they will frustrate me further but I look forward to getting out there and shooting projections of random people over the internet. Why yes I am single, why do you ask?

What KG Should Have Said

Big news in the sports world on on Twitter was Celtics big man Kevin Garnett allegedly telling Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva that he "looked like a cancer patient" during Tuesday's game between the Boston and Detroit. As usual there seems to outrage on both sides. Some feel this is typical Garnett behavior and
Garnett has come out and said that his exact words were: "You are cancerous to your team and our league."

Now, I can see both side of the story on this. On the one hand, talking smack about cancer is not cool but then again on the field of battle the rules of regular society can sometimes not apply. It brings back to me the Zinedine Zidane headbutt. Materazzi had insulted Zidane's sister. While taking shots at ones family is considered below the belt, Zidane should have taken the high road. He didn't and his absence hurt his team in the title match. People can say some awful things when they get the adrenaline flowing, just ask Xtra Medium and Matt Bryant.

What should Charlie have done? If he took a swing at Garnett he would be suspended and lose some coinage but he would have stood up for himself. Villanueva's medical condition results in hairloss, giving him the look he sports. I would think by now he would let those kind of insults roll of his back. KG was a little too direct in his insults, he should have gone for something more subtle. Depending on whether he did call him a cancer patient or called him a cancer to the league. Here are a few suggestions for what could have been said by KG that may or may not have turned this into a big deal.

"Why don't you go back to your home on Rigel VII?" (Don't blame me I voted for Kodos)

"ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, except you being an All-Star."

"How was it being in a Kids In The Hall movie?"
"Cue ball, corner pocket."

"I had sex with your wive/girlfriend."

"You have to live in Detroit."

"Powder called, he wants his look back."

Tuesday, November 2

How Wrong Were We: 2010 MLB Season

Here at ASD we like to make predictions just as any sports fans. We also like to take a moment at the conclusion of each season and look back on how wrong we were about our prognostications. Today, the Giants are the World Series champions. If you didn't know that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit then you might be unaware that the Giants won their first World Series since 1954 and the first in San Francisco. Tim Lincecum pitched a gem and Edgar Renteria won MVP on the strength of his game-winning hit. I've seen that somewhere before.

I predicted a BCS matchup between the Yankees and Phillies this year but apparently there is a playoff in baseball.

NL (complete picks here)

Phillies over Brewers(Wild Card winners)
Cardinals over Rockies

NLCS
Phillies over Cardinals


Not sure what I was thinking with the Brewers there. I expected the Rockies to make their traditional August/September run and they did but not enought to overtake the Giants or Padres. Watch me kind of give the Giants props but completely miss on the big picture:

The additions of DeRosa and Huff are supposed to bolster the Sandoval-led line-up but no one is holding their breath no that one.

And of course, my big bust was having the Padres picked last in this division but I know I wasn't the only one. However, my Mets analysis was spot, fucking on:

I am merely going to sit back and watch the team blow leads, make hideous errors, fail to hit HRs in their own park, and Johan to break down. Then when the smoke clears hopefully Omar Minaya and Jerry Manuel will be gone and the team can start from scratch....again.

Good luck Sandy Alderson.

AL (all the picks here)

My AL predictions worked out a lot better. I did pick the Yankees to take the east and the Rays wildcard but that was reversed. I did get all four playoff teams right.

AL Playoffs

Yankees over Twins(again)
Rangers over Rays

ALCS
Yankees over Rangers

World Series
Phillies over Yankees


I was more than happy to have the Rangers prove me wrong. I did think they had a winning formula though:

But with Nolan Ryan calling out pitchers and Ron Washington doing lines who knows what can happen!

Congrats to the Giants, even Barry Bonds is happy for you. Lincecum and his dong hat can ride off into the sunset. 2010 MLB Season, FIN.



schlong on a hat via