Nickelodeon was a refuge for many adolescents such as myself in the early 1990s. The network produced outstanding programming during that era: Pete and Pete, Salute your Shorts, Ren and Stimpy, and many more. While some of its shows had athletic themes to it, the creation of GUTS in 1992 was the first Nick show centered around athletic competition. Double Dare had physical challenges but was more about trivia and making a mess (neither of which is a bad thing), Finders Keepers was not phyisically demanding enough, Nick Arcade was more about video games and mastering a green screen and Legends of the Hidden Temple was athletically challenging but also included a history lesson from a large caricature of an Aztec statue.
GUTS was based on the premise that you could take awkward young teens and make them perform athletic stunts that were awesome in theory yet rarely rewarded the viewer with the artful display of biomechanics. Still many impressionable young minds tuned in and dreamed of having a chance to compete in the Extreme Arena and take home a glowing piece of the Aggro Crag.
Mike and Mo
The host was Mike O'Malley. His Wikipedia page lets you know he is of Irish decent. If you needed further confirmation on that his kids' names are Fiona, Seamus, and Declan. It also states that this was O'Malley's first big break into television. After GUTS he had his spot as "The Rick", a hapless Boston sports enthusiast. Unfortunately I could not find the classic "They're not dolls, they're figurines" spot. Bear in mind this was the late 1990s, when Boston had no attained the level of annoying unbearable persona that enjoy now. Up until this point, they were hokey annoying fans that had teams that they claimed never won anything, even though their teams had enjoyed success in the past. Speaking of late 90s ESPN cartoons involving Boston, how great was the Cam Neely spot for when ESPN News first came out.
O'Malley did the job well as host, injecting enthusiasm and doing his best to create drama within the events. At some points his narration of the action in the arena rose to Gus Johnsonsian levels. Mike never broke character, even when a kid failed horribly, he never put the kid down or gave an indication to the audience that it was a pathetic display of non-athleticism. It's amazing considering his work after GUTS was almost all based on his low-key sarcastic humor. He had his longest run in the sitcom Yes,Dear which I have never seen. Lately I see him in commercials for Time-Warner Cable. His character in the commercials resemble what the Rick would be like if he grew up, got married, and moved out of his small apartment.
Next we have the indelible Moira Quirk. Affectionately(?) known as "Mo", she was co-host and "official" for the show. I put official in quotations because she really did not do any officiating for the show. The only thing that remotely made her resemble an official was the striped shirt she donned faithfully each episode. She did not rule on any of the events, just a conduit of information. While O'Malley used the standard hand-held microphone Mo was on the cutting edge of technology, utilizing the Madonna-style head microphone. I'm guessing that Mo was hired more for her voice than anything, not that she was hard on the eyes. If you look at her work, it is mostly her voice being used. She did some other projects for Nick but aside from her voice acting, GUTS was her time to shine on TV. Now many people are fans of Mo and I have nothing against her, but he place on the show was rather superfluous. When a game began Mike, who was perfectly capable of explaining a game would "toss if over to Mo for the rules!" at which time she would explain the game. After O'Malley finished doing commentary on the event it was "let's get the official results from Mo!". I never understood why they tried to make her an "official" instead of just a regular co-host. She was probably not the first but definitely not the last in a long line of female commentators inserted into game shows to gender balance the field. A Moira tribute can be seen here, and damned if I don't sense some sexual tension between Mo and Mike.
The Game
The show existed during the genesis of "extreme" sports in America. The country suddenly thought they had a notion that the old roll the ball out there sports were not enough. It had to be "to the extreme!" like Poochy used to say. Basketball is not good enough, let's attach a bungee! Swimming in a pool is not crazy enough, here's a paddle and a raft! Try running on this track...sideways in the air!!! Almost every event involved hanging from a bungee and jumping off a platform.
This line of thinking led to many of the neon fashion crazes of the 90s, Dan Cortese and surfer talk becoming popular. In the next step of this evolution MTV's Sandblast(Summer Sanders, mmmmm) took what GUTS did and MTV'd it and used older, college age kids. The show came to being a few years after American Gladiators and was crafted in that form, but of course without the brute force. The results were somewhat more desirable and now in present day we have Survivor, Road Rules/Real World Challenge, and Wipeout. The problem again with GUTS was that these were awkward teens who were usually all elbows and knees working on bungee apparatuses that only made them more gangly and austistic-spider like. Once in awhile there would be a kid who was just naturally athletically gifted, and when that happened it was over. The other competitors looked like ostriches with sprained ankles while the good kid breezed through the competition and made the games look silly.
The Competitors
An interesting factor guys and girls competed together. A friend of mine once referred to that as purpling, because of the mixing of blue(boys) and red(girls). Oddly enough the 3 colors for the contenders were blue(really teal, remember this was the 90s!), red and purple. Since girls mature physically faster than boys (it's science!), some of the time the girls did win. In fact, some of the more dominating performances came from the girls side and when it did, you could see the humiliation and the expectation of the taunting to come by the male counterparts.
The best part of the hokey nature of the show were the "Spill your guts" segments. Each competitor would give themselves a nickname. Now for me this would be the toughest part of the show. Do I go with an alliterative animal in relation to my name? A generic use of the words awesome, crush, radical, or power? O'Malley would dutifully refer to each player as their nickname throughout the show. At first, the profile would just list the player's age, hobbies, and nickname but after awhile it became a short video segment filled with early TV production value. Slow motion chops and great voice overs while the contestant performed a physical activity on camera. The international kids did it even better, because of the accents. All it was missing was a few star wipes.
GUTS goes Global
After awhile on the air, Nick must have decided the show was growing stale. They then unveiled a Global GUTS competition which pitted kids from 8* countries against each other in GUTS competition. Perhaps they were trying to catch the wave of the coming Atlanta Olympics. In a horrible home-field display, the United State finished 3rd in the medal count, behind Mexico and the winner United Kingdom. That's right, we let those limey bastards come across the pond and take the glowing piece of the rock away from us. They had 8 golds overall. The finish to each episode contestants were put on the podium like they always were but in Global had the winning national anthem played.
*one country was the Commonwealth of Independent States and included Russia, Ukraine, Georgia, and Kazakhstan(very nice..). Just like communism though, they failed and finished last. They did not even land a single gold medal.
The Aggro Crag
At the conclusion of each episode, the contestants had to tackle the Aggro Crag. The Crag was basically a fabricated mountain that contained a winding path to a flag of your color at the top. During your trek you had to hit 6 "actuators" before you could hit the final one at the top, all the while dealing with snow(falling glitter), nuclear flying crystals(yes, really, in the form of confetti), avalanches(paper mache rocks), and lighting(flashing studio lights). Some conquered the task easily while others got lost in the mayhem. Players could get eliminated for a wide variety of reasons and sometimes did. The good thing was that if you had a sizeable lead there was no way you could lose as long as you finished, which was not always the case in American Gladiators if the reverse treadmill or handbike ate you up. 
After a few seasons the Crag became known as the Mega Crag and in Global GUTS it was the Super Aggro Crag. I can just see the meeting room for that one:
"So what should we name the Crag now?"
"We have to go beyond Mega Crag."
"A tough task to be sure, we really have to make the Aggro Crag stand out, what do you think Chad?"
"Umm, Super Aggro Crag?"
"By golly that's it, give yourself a raise!"
"Sweet, more coin for O-town hookers and blow!"
/high fives
The other unique feature for the winner is that you would not just get a gold medal, but a glowing piece of the rock as well. This rock always intrigued me and was my main motivation for the desire to compete on the show. What was it made of? It couldn't be that heavy because the winners could hoist it over their heads. What made it glow? What was the shelf life of the glow? If I ever meet someone who has a piece of the Crag I would bow down to them and buy them a shot.
Well Known Contestants
Some famous stars got their start in Extreme Arena, the most notable of which may be A.J. McLean of the Backstreet Boys. His nickname was A.J. "Mean" McLean. Quite crafty my young lad, however young AJ was no match for Jamie "The Jackal" Mendelsohn. That's right, A.J. lost to a girl. This might explain his alcohol and drug addiction later in life. Just kidding A.J., you were always our favorite Backstreet Boy.
Other notables include a stuntwoman named Anna Mercedes Morris, who I have never heard of but she was born in Charlotte and is America Ferrera's stunt double in Ugly Betty. She used the nickname "Roadrunner" and also won the show, beating out a guy who despite his ultimate humiliation had a sweet nickname: Paul "Running Man" Battson. What happened to Buzzsaw? He had to split.
Actor Mike Vogel of Poseidon, Cloverfield, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants fame came in second in his run. His nickname was "Flea". I wonder if it was a tribute to the bassist.
Houston Dynamo(it's an MLS team[MLS is Major League Soccer]) defender Bobby Boswell competed as "Lightning" and also finished second...against two girls. Clearly the girls who went on this show were not messing around.
Now for the interesting one. Ashley Drane, an actress won the silver in her episode. She nicknamed herself "The Face", and I have no earthly idea why. She has had small roles in a bunch of different flim-flam, but the real eye-opener is that she is married to...David Eckstein, 2006 World Series MVP and current San Diego Padre. I guess you could say Eckstein got her "in the face"(/shows self out).
Legacy
GUTS had a revival in 2008 with a family version hosted by Ben Lyons. It was a tournament format and they redid the Crag like American Gladiators where your lead in points gave you a timed head start.
A SNES GUTS video game was created.
Especially with the ability to look back on GUTS now, the show was hardly a paragon of athletic achievement, but it captured the attention of many young kids of the 90s who dreamed of glory in Extreme Arena. That was what Nickelodeon was successful at during this era; it took ideas and concepts that young people aspired to and presented them in a healthy and intriguing manner. Though I never was fortunate enough to race up the Aggro Crag, I would like to think I could answer the question posed at the start and close of each show. Do I have them and by them meaning guts? I believe I do, I believe I do.
Thursday, April 29
Sometimes You Forget: GUTS
Wednesday, April 1
Wednesday Links
Catfish is working on a post that will shake the very foundations of the blogosphere...or get himself flamed horribly. I am swamped at the office and working on a nonsports, nonsensical top ten to be posted later. This combination leads to a wonderful list of links to keep you up on what's going on in sports and the world.
When in doubt, mock meth addiction: Our latest Bobcats podcast. [Bobcats Planet]
Speaking of the Bobcats, they beat the Lakers again! 6-1 in their last seven and with MJ watching on the sidelines and lots of purple and yellow in the stands, this one was sweet. [Charlotte Observer]
Michigan asking their students not to take matters into their own hands. [Yesbutnobutyes]
Simmons voices some discontent with ESPN, some may deny this! [Awful Announcing]
UVA hires Tony Bennett to ressurect the program, he can do anything he's a former Charlotte Hornet! [Rumors and Rants]
"OK, here's the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge "Team 7" for scheduling and disciplinary purposes." Oh, it gets better. [Deadspin]
Jay Cutler may be traded this very day, here is Jay Glazer with latest. You're not going to trust Mort with this are you? [Fox Sports]
Vlade dade, he liked to party, and the Kings pay tribute to Divac in front of a packed house, and then lose at the buzzer in true fashion. [Sac Bee]
Rejoice Tiger fans! Mizzou holds on to Mike Anderson despite him being courted by Georgia. [KC Star]
Go emo Tiger fans, Calipari accepts job at Kentucky. [Memphis Commercial Appeal]
Our adopted NHL team is 6 points out with 7 games left. Buffalo is now reduced to celebrated the destruction of the Aud along with the city's hopes and dreams. [Sabres.com]
Tuesday, July 8
That's Right Lil' Ricky, You're Just as Bad as Everyone Else
An article was brought to my attention via Deadspin. It states that Beachwood,
I played baseball into my teens and never once made an All-Star team. This was mainly due to my lack of hitting prowess, and general average caliber of my play. I was not a poor player, I could field well, and get on base easily enough. There were a few seasons where, in my mind at least I felt I deserved a spot on the All-Star roster. In both of those situations I was passed over and a son of the head coach made it on. Engh addresses this in his letter:
“The entire process is twisted. I’d love to know the percentage of kids who are chosen for these All-Star teams who have a parent involved in coaching. Mom or Dad justify choosing their own child--even if he’s clearly not one of the better players--because they’ve surrendered a lot of their free time to volunteer to coach.”
Here I have to agree with him and anyone who has played a youth sport knows this to be true. The coach’s son gets to play the most, in the best position and is selected to the All-Star team if one exists for that sport. This unfortunate fact of life is disappointing but not nearly enough of a justification for eradicating the All-Star selection altogether. If a reform in the selection of the team is called for with regard to nepotism, I whole-heartedly agree.
However, it is the intention of Engh to eliminate the process entirely. He points to the fragile egos of our nations youth:
“There’s nothing like sticking a dagger into a youngster’s self-esteem the first season he plays the sport by letting him know that he’s not good enough or considered worthy to be part of this elite group of teammates.”
Well in case the nation’s youth is not aware I will alert them: there are people in this world that are…get ready for it…BETTER than YOU in certain areas. I know, it’s a tough reality to face, but welcome to reality kids. When our nation’s youth are learning to walk, recite their ABCs, write our language, nothing is more important than confidence and encouragement. But this is sports, and these kids are maturing and preparing for adulthood.
When a young man enters the world after high school or college, if he hasn’t already learned that life is unfair and that others will have advantages he doesn’t he will quickly do so. I think Mr. Engh believes by sheltering these youth from the “embarrassment” of not making an All-Star team will somehow preserve their faith in themselves. If it takes that to hold a kids confidence, how will he fair on job interviews, or yet, how will that prepare him for his future in sports? As early as high school, kids get cut from the team, a plain and simple fact of life.
Engh writes: “Youth sports aren’t meant to single out only a handful of kids; they’re about making every child feel special, including those who won’t make the All-Star team.”
Well Mr. Engh that is why every kid gets the cheap, glossy trophy. I’m sure if you played youth sports you have a nice little collection of them. That is a chance for each child to be recognized, and feel special.
The problem with the youth in this country is that they are not being prepared for life. It is important for kids to feel appreciated, loved, and special in their own way. But at the same time, they have to become tough mentally and prepared for what they will face in the world. A common phrase is “if I only knew then what I know now”, well its our duty to give our children as much knowledge when they are young so they have an advantage when they grow up.
Attempting to stick mainly to sports here, my point is that the success of sports in our culture is the competition. We cheer the great teams we see and acknowledge the ability of certain stars to rise above the competition. We have standards, and those who achieve the best in those standards are recognized. So if you have a kid that is not good enough for the All-Star team it is your job to explain why and tell him that it does not mean he is no good, but that you are still proud of him. If the kid can’t handle it, then there are larger problems than sports looming.
Fred Engh is the CEO of the National Alliance for Youth Sports. Is this the person we want having a national say in our youth sports? These kids in Beachwood, Ohio, in a region more ravaged by the leaving of industry in our country than any other, when they reach adulthood will they be benefited by being told that they are all special snowflakes and it doesn’t matter how good you are, you don’t have to be better than anyone else, or should they get a reality check now?
Sports are the best opportunity for kids to learn how life works. Attempting to fix it by eliminating the competition does nothing but dull the kids to the competition they will face.
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