I was going to type that it is time for "another installment" of our version of Tale of the Tape but looking back over our archives, two previous posts of similar ilk is hardly a case for making it appear as a regular feature. Also, this is our first non-sports head-to-head match up in the ASD yet its significance to the progress of the human race cannot be denied. In the late 1980s/early 1990s movie soundtracks were beginning to mirror the shift in the nation toward more of an acceptance to hip hop culture. Some purists would call this the commercialism of rap which lead to the prominence of gangsta rap's emergence in the populous. MC Hammer gave way to Tupac, Dre, and Snoop Dog. I guess it was similar to how grunge moved in and blew glam rock off the map but I digress. Today we have two primetime examples of the movie franchise-pop rap collision. Two movies, two sequels, two ridiculous plot premises, two bygone rap stars, two songs with ridiculous lyrics...one winner. Which one is superior? Read on for the breakdown.
The vitals:
Ninja Rap------------------------song-----------------------------------On Our Own
Vanilla Ice------------------Singer/Rapper----------------Bobby Brown
Cool as Ice-----------------disastrous later project-----------Bobby and Whitney
"Go ninja go ninja go"-------silly chorus phrase---------"All on our own"(sung in falsetto)
TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze------------movie title------------Ghostbusters 2
1991---------------------------Year of release-------------------------1989
$78.656 million---------------Gross revenue--------------------$215.394 million
Radioactive goo gives animals human intelligence----ridiculous plot premise--------Evil man in painting is facilitating the spread of slime that feeds on human emotion
As rapper at a club--------------------Cameo appearance by artist---------------Doorman at Gracie Mansion
Ernie Reyes Jr.------------------kick-ass sidekick-----------------Rick Moranis
David Warner---------------------weird dude with an accent--------------Peter MacNicol
Paige Turco as April O'Neil-----------------hot chick--------------------Sigourney Weaver as Dana Barrett
Turtle Power by Partners in Kryme-------original movie pop song--------Ghostbusters by Ray Parker
TMNT Fruit Snacks--------------------Best food/drink product resultant----------------Hi-C Ecto Cooler(and it's not even close)
Now to the actual songs. First we have Ninja Rap. You really have to appreciate how much of a shill Vanilla Ice was made to be for this role. The plot situation is that the Turtles are battling Shredder's own mutant creations of Tokka and Rhazar, wolf and snapping turtle respectively, and the kerfuffle lands them in a club where Ice is up on stage performing. Instead of freaking the fuck out at the sight of 4 man-sized turtles and two hulking wolf/turtle beasts, Ice breaks out into what we are lead to believe is an impromptu song while the Turtles beat the crap out of the two and various foot clan members. They even dance a little bit for the crowd. Here, in its glory is the video for Ninja Rap. Please observe Ice's little A capella intro complete with double arm thrust. My favorite lyrics have to be the opening "Yo, it's the green machine, gonna rock the town without bein' seen" [interesting sidenote: after the club scene Shredder downs a vial of ooze and becomes Super Shredder, who was played by wrestler Kevin Nash]
Breathtaking. Now we have On our Own from Bobby Brown. The quality is a little Zapruder-esque but the good one had the embedding disabled. The song was a continuance of Brown's success after he left New Edition but before the substance abuse led him to the person he is today. Maybe he was always that guy but reality TV just highlighted it. The song was more of a backdrop to the Ghostbusters getting back in Vigo kicking mode then intertwined into the story but this video is too gold to not show. Things to note in this video being with Bobby dancing with a hoochie on different buildings located in NY. There is also numerous celebrity cameos including Rick Moranis, Christopher Reeve on a bike (too soon?), Donald Trump, and some I could not identify. Favorite lines for me are in the opening rap: "too hot to handle, too cold to hold....try to battle my boys, that's not legal!"
Man, this is a tough call. It is pretty clear that Ghostbuster 2 was a bigger success as a movie and that their use of the song was more traditional. However, I used to run through the streets with my friend with a broomstick pretending I was Donatello and the cheesiness of Ninja Rap is quite strong. My personal edge goes to the Green Machine. Feel free to disagree, I have a feeling which way friend of the blog Walter Peck is leaning, but maybe he feels betrayed about being left out of the sequel?
Thursday, July 29
Tale of the Tube: Ninja Rap vs. On Our Own
Tuesday, March 3
Tale of the Tube: Gerald Henderson vs. Grant Hill
There is a debate going on about just how good the Duke Blue Devils are this year. The certainty is that if they are going to make it to the Final Four in Detroit Gerald Henderson will have to lead them there. There have been comparisons made between Henderson and another athletic Duke great, Grant Hill. This got me thinking of the 1993-1994 season where Hill led a Duke team that was not a heavy favorite in the tournament to the Championship game in Charlotte where they fell to Scotty Thurman and Arkansas. So how do these two match up for this season, which may be Henderson's last at Duke? Since Henderson has yet to play at the next level, Hill's stats are taken from when he was at Duke.
The vitals:
Gerald----------------------------------------------------------------Grant
15---------------------------Jersey Number------------------------------33
Caldwell, NJ-----------------Birthplace----------------------------------Dallas
6'4"-------------------------------Height----------------------------------6'7"
215--------------------------------Weight-----------------------------------210
13 year NBA guard------------Father's Pro career-------12 year NFL RB
2nd round--------Furthest Tournament Progression------Champions in '91,'92
Kyle Singler------------Big White Scoring Teammate---------Cherokee Parks
Brian Zoubek--------Big White Non-Scoring Teammate---------Eric Meek
Greg Paulus-----------Annoying Punk Teammate---------------Christian Laettner
11.9--------------------------------Career PPG-------------------------------------14.9
Tyler Hansbrough elbow to face-----Famous Arm Motion--------Pass to Laettner in '92
Mini-Fro---------------------Haircut of choice before shaving it------------Box
Now we get to the Tube. First we have Grant Hill at Duke. This video is from the "Beyond the Glory" series on FSN. It is complete with Chris Collins and Christian Laettner commentary! Sweet headband dude! I chose this one because it has footage of the dunk Hill had against Kansas(and Roy Williams) in the 1991 National Championship game (:53 seconds in, yes Jim I can believe he got that high). For some reason that dunk is hard to find on YouTube. There is also footage from the 1994 tournament and I had forgotten on that run Duke took out one-seeded Purdue Boilermakers which featured Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson.
For Gerald, the dunk he had on Maryland may not be his most impressive dunk, but it is up there and is his most recent:
Here is another video stating his case for this year's ACC POY:
Obviously Grant has the advantage from having won two national championships and almost single-handedly capturing a third, but if Henderson can take over when the tournament comes, he could lead a charge reminiscent of 1994.
Friday, January 23
Tale of the Tube: LeBron vs. Dominique
Last week as we watched LeBron do his thing on the court against New Orleans, Xtra Medium and I entered into a debate after LeBron threw one down. While there is no doubt Bron Bron is operating now on a level all by himself, I contended that a man from my youth, Dominique Wilkins was the superior dunker. This was not to say that James cannot throw it down as well as just about anyone, but in my recollection Nique was as graceful yet violent dunker the league had seen. This was without having reviewed any footage, it was just off memory of what I saw as a kid and the Super Slam of the NBA tape I had watched more times than I could count. In my opinion at that time, there was no question it was Wilkins, the man who graced the back of my bedroom door on a poster I received inside a Kudos box. Man, I used to love me some Kudos. However, after viewing extensive footage of both dunkers, it is truly a close call. Since we have to take out dunk contests since LeBron it appears will never do one, the incredible Nique contest footage will have to be eliminated from consideration.
Let's look at the vitals before we go to the You Tube tape.
LeBron--------------------------------------------------------Dominique
The King/King James-----Nickname-----The Human Highlight Reel
Akron, Ohio-------------Birthplace---------------Paris, France
6'8"-------------------------Height--------------------------6'8"
250(more like 260-270)----------Weight------------------ 230
23---------------------Jersey Number-----------------------21
Cavs(until 2010?)-------------Main Team-------------------Hawks
Lost in the Finals------Furtherst Playoff progression-----Lost in Eastern Semis
2008-----------------League Scoring Champion----------------1986
Cockback Tomahawk---------------Signature Dunk-----------------Windmill
Kobe-------------------Biggest Rival------------------------Michael
43------------Points in a losing Game 7 to Celtics-------------47
Now we turn to the true tale of the tube. There are various videos displaying the fantastic dunks of both players, but in the interest of balance I chose the NBA TV top ten for each. There are some left off of Nique's catalog which include the one-handed putback from the Super Slam's video which made Tim Hardaway say, "You see that, you be like Gawd!" and the one-handed alley-oop where he rose over the defender but it does show what he brought to the table. Also intersting is that Lebron's top ten has two instances of players trying to take a charge or unwilling to go up and challenge the shot, there certainly was more willingness for players to go for the block 20 years ago as opposed to today where players are more afraid of getting "posterized" or showing up on the bad end of a Sportscenter highlight than contest a shot.
Bron Bron has some great dunks though, and some I had either only seen once or twice or had forgotten about including a throwdown on Rasheed. It is amazing that some of their dunks do look incredibly similar. Wilkins to me gets the edge by the slimmest of margins and his facial served up on Larry Byrd is priceless.
First we have LeBron's top ten:
Here is Dominique's:
Tough call, feel free to give us your opinion.
