Mr. Ilya Kovalchuk had a bad moment Wednesday when the Devils faced a shootout against the ASD adopted NHL team, the Buffalo Sabres. The man being paid $100 million dollars to put puck in net sent puck lazily adrift in the critical moment. He blew it. Our friend of the blog Walter Peck is a Devils fan (and a veteran [/belated salute!]) so I'm sure this play and the subsequent 4-10-2 record does not please him. Being winless at home is pretty dismal as well. The Sabres are a slightly less vomit-inducing 5-9-3. Fear not Jersey fans, Kovalchuk has 15 years to make that blunder up to you.
Showing posts with label Fail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fail. Show all posts
Friday, November 12
It's Friday So Don't Blow It
Sunday, September 12
Just in Case We Had Forgotten, ACC Reminds Us How Bad Their Football Is
It seems like this is an annual admission of the horribleness of ACC football based on their early season non-conference performance. There were four big out of conference match-ups for the conference on Saturday and true to form the ACC lost them all.
My Canes were impressive only in the kicking game and in their ability to vomit, bleed, and defecate on themselves at the same time during their 36-24 loss at Ohio State. Not many were expecting the Canes to go into the Horseshoe and beat the Buckeyes, yet the manner of their play was highly disappointing. Jacory Harris threw four interceptions and missed open receivers for touchdowns. Receivers dropped passes. Offensive linemen had multiple false starts. Interceptions were dropped. Only the returners were the ones who brought their best game to Columbus. A lot of credit goes to the Buckeyes for their consistent, solid play. They took advantage of the Canes mistakes. Once again the question has been asked if the Canes are back and once again the answer is a resounding "NO,GTFO LMAO ROFL kthxbai."
A lot of people were high on Florida State in Norman. Some people were very confident. Oklahoma woke up from its scare against Utah State and clobbered the Seminoles. The 47-17 win by the 10th-ranked Sooners stopped any talk of Jimbo taking FSU back to the upper echelon of national prominence.
Surely the reigning ACC champion would make us proud right? Georgia Tech had to go on the road to the wonderland that is Lawrence, Kansas. The Jayhawks lost to FCS powerhouse North Dakota State last week, failing to score more than 3 points. Turner Gil did quite a motivation job over the week as they racked up 28 points on #15 Georgia Tech in a 3 point win. Kansas was not exactly seen as a powerhouse in the BCS picture before their loss to North Dakota State, so quite the letdown from the Jackets.
Last and probably least, we have the Hokies. I have long called Virginia Tech the flag-carriers for the conference. They got a BCS win during the conference's long drought, they win 10 games or close to it year after year. Yet after an opening week loss to Boise State in what was essentially a home game, V-Tech had an incomprehensible loss in Blacksburg. FCS (powerhouse?) James Madison came into town and beat the Hokies 21-16. Tech fans were devastated but no one felt the pain of the loss more than Boise State. It is now impossible for the Broncos to make the BCS title game, even if they go undefeated.
Friday, July 2
It's Friday
This is amazing and has been passed around the web this week more than a Kardashian at an NFL party.
Have a safe and happy 4th everyone. For the love of Richard Dean Anderson's pants, don't drink and drive (that goes for any weekend really). Don't just take it from me, let's here from Georgia AD Damon Evans:
Whoops. Double whoops. Just focus on the message for now, happy birthday America, 234 years old and we still have all our hair!
Sunday, September 6
All Aboard the ACC Failbus
Typing this post is surprisingly easy with a foot in my mouth. For all the discussion of the ACC rising up to make themselves respectable this year, for all the posts about their match-ups with the SEC, and the podcasts and predictions, the ACC has reclaimed its position as the joke of the BCS.
The biggest disappointment of week 1 was of course Virginia Tech. This is not because Va Tech has the worst team or even the worst performance, but once again the conference had given the banner to the Hokies to ride into Atlanta and vanquish a top 5 SEC foe. The Hokies put up a valiant fight but in the end ironically it was their defense that let them down. Alabama scored 34 on Tech and by the end of the game ginger boy Greg McElroy was picking the defense apart. The Tide made great adjustments in the second half and against Bama's defense there was no way the Hokies could get swept up in a shootout. The chants of "SEC..SEC" in the crowd as the clock ticked down was a reminder that when it comes to football, the SEC has dominion over the ACC.
The Hokies are not alone in their ineptitude. NC State had a another deplorable performance against South Carolina, losing 7-3 last Thursday. Wake Forest had 4 turnovers against Baylor as the Bears avenged their opening week loss from last year 24-21. Remember how we mentioned Maryland as a possible sleeper on the podcast? They really had their stuff together as they lost by the slimmest of margins to Cal, 52-13.
But losses to other BCS conferences where not all the ACC had up its sleeve. Duke and Virginia, while both picked to finish at the bottom of the ACC, embarrassed the conference further by losing to FCS schools Richmond and William & Mary respectively. Outside of the Miami-FSU game tomorrow the conference went 4-6 in week 1 and those four wins were against Middle Tennessee,Northeastern, Jackson State, and the Citadel. Perhaps Catfish said it best, "When does basketball season start."
Wednesday, August 19
Wednesday Links Of Seething Rage
I'm not feeling in a particular chipper mood today. I guess you could say the very walls of my existence are crashing down upon me in a tidal wave of fail, but let's not be too dramatic. There is only one thing I can think of at a time like this; breaking stuff. Who better to champion my cause than the one and only Vanilla Ice? We are not so different you and I, Vanilla. We both thought we were a lot cooler than we actually were. We're both fans of the University of Miami (notice his sweatshirt if you ever watch the Ice Ice baby video again (I watched the whole thing twice). We both are huge fans of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And most importantly we had our reality check, although mine did not involve a behind the music. While thinking of one Ice and rage and breaking stuff, I thought of this moment from MTV. Back when people used to watch MTV, they decided to show 25 "lame" videos that they would never show again. They brought in some of the bright comedic minds of the day, well two of them at least. You may notice Jon Stewart and Denis Leary were part of the cast with Jeanine Garafalo and Chris Kattan thrown in for good measure. It turns out Vanilla had some pent up rage and like him I would like to smash a video of my earlier exploits if such a tape existed. Smash on, White Knight of a lost culture of flat top hair and funky dance moves.
A list of ten players to watch this year in college football. [Rumors and Rants]
That Bear Bryant was one smooth cat; he must have been feral spec. [EDSBS]
Obligatory Strasburg signing reference, written by guy with rage in his name! Todd Van Poppel and Mark Pryor nod approvingly. [Deuce of Davenport]
This might be the best worst movie I have ever heard of. [Loul's Dong]
Shaq's TV Show destined to go at least one episode more than Magic Johnson's. [With Leather]
Giants fans proving their brahsomeness. [Barstool Sports]
These ladies are like the village bicycle, everyone's had a ride! The Bryan Adams song choice was pure win. [YBNBY]
It's trivia day, do know your Alan Rickman movies? [Sporcle]
Joe Posnanski shows what Joe Mauer needs to reach .400. Good to see some are still dreaming the impossible dream. [JoePosnanski]
Since Keyboard Cat simply is not enough to play me off today I have asked Hall and Oates to join in the efforts.
Monday, June 8
Weekend Recap
I have decided job searching is only as stressful as you allow it to be. Therefore I welcome my oncoming unemplyoment in a little over 3 weeks, it will give me a chance to do some figurative and literal housecleaning. I hope your weekend out there was enjoyable. I can't decide what the highlight for me was, witnessing cookie-tossing at Waffle House at 2:30am, or the girl being carried out An Officer and A Gentleman style from the bar and the EMTs flowing in soon after.
Tiger Woods won a golf tournament yesterday, consider yourself warned. [Rumors and Rants]
I thought this girl winning the Texas state title in Track and Field was impressive, but Catfish was quick to point out, "It's only class A, isn't that the worst division?" [Deadspin]
I get the feeling the Stanley Cup Finals may be over tomorrow night after the way the Wings looked with Datsyuk back. [Yahoo]
Where was the security at Roland Garros on Sunday? [TBL]
Now I just think the Nationals are doing this stuff on purpose. [DC Sports Bog]
Ian Kinsler gets my vote for best player on a good team no one is talking about. [Dallas Morning News]
Southern Miss defeated Florida to advance to the College World Series. The Noles lost too so a win-win this weekend as far as I'm concerned. [CBSSports]
I have a feeling that the Courtney Lee missed lay-up is going to be the most memorable moment from the finals this year. Now where did I put my broom? [Ball Don't Lie]
Tuesday, May 26
WWE And Vince Give Epic Fail Performance
After going to a bar with K-man, XM, and Catfish to watch the last WWE PPV, 'Judgement Day' I wrote in my little daily milieu, the random thought/quote/fact of the day, that I was done with pro wrestling. Sure I was a fan of the Attitude Era, who wasn't, but the storylines are not well-executed, the action in the ring is horrible when it comes to the big names, and the characters are stale. Oh, and in my opinion John Cena can not even sniff Stone Cold and The Rock's jockstrap.
The events of the past week though pulled me back in as I had to tune into see what Vince was going to cook up after moving Monday Night Raw to the Staples Center in L.A. after being double booked with the Nuggets' hosting of game 4. Vince talked a big game, insulting E. Stan Kroenke and putting up a 5 vs. 5 tag match as the man event with a Lakers versus Nuggets team and a mystery 5th man for the Lakers' team. I was excited to see how the WWE would incorporate this during the entire night since they had done such a great job setting it up all week.
In the end it was a tremendous letdown. Vince came out to confront a fake, dressed-up Stan Kroenke and revealed the E in his name stood for "Enis" and then let the crowd participate in the dickjoke connection of the name. Of course, it made me think of former Penn State draft bust Curtis Enis. Then Vince merely pushed the fake Kroenke down and his music played. No stunner? Not even a DDT? Lame.
Then we had this abomination of impersonators ring side:
That is supposed to be from left to right: Lakers' owner Jerry Buss, Jack Nicholson, and NBA Commissioner David Stern. First off, the fake Buss looks like a woman in a red wig. Is it really that hard to find a good Jack impersonator in LA? He had a speaking part backstage and sounded nothing like the real thing. The Jack Nicholson voice is an easy one to imitate, and every white man can do a halfway decent one. It is a few steps down from being as universal to an Arnold voice. The one that makes me shake my head is the David Stern "look-a-like" and by look-a-like I mean looks not a damn bit like David Stern. This is David Stern:
They got old white guy and glasses part right and that is pretty much it. You might say that most wrestling fans would not know the difference but this edition of RAW was supposed to bring in the casual viewers and gain new followers. It instead showed why wrestling, while popular, is not as big as it was and continues to shrink as MMA expands.
The final straw was the mystery tag-team partner. It was some guy named 'Mr. Kennedy' who I had never heard of but apparently has been gone for awhile with injury. Another fail, this was a time for a celebrity, someone tied to basketball, The Rock since this was in Hollywood (I can dream can't I?), or some other long lost wrestler not seen in a long time. I refuse to waste my time with it anymore (even for Kelly Kelly), although game 4 over on TWWL was almost as unwatchable with the constant whistles, 84 free-throws and technical fouls.
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