Tuesday, May 26

WWE And Vince Give Epic Fail Performance

After going to a bar with K-man, XM, and Catfish to watch the last WWE PPV, 'Judgement Day' I wrote in my little daily milieu, the random thought/quote/fact of the day, that I was done with pro wrestling. Sure I was a fan of the Attitude Era, who wasn't, but the storylines are not well-executed, the action in the ring is horrible when it comes to the big names, and the characters are stale. Oh, and in my opinion John Cena can not even sniff Stone Cold and The Rock's jockstrap.

The events of the past week though pulled me back in as I had to tune into see what Vince was going to cook up after moving Monday Night Raw to the Staples Center in L.A. after being double booked with the Nuggets' hosting of game 4. Vince talked a big game, insulting E. Stan Kroenke and putting up a 5 vs. 5 tag match as the man event with a Lakers versus Nuggets team and a mystery 5th man for the Lakers' team. I was excited to see how the WWE would incorporate this during the entire night since they had done such a great job setting it up all week.

In the end it was a tremendous letdown. Vince came out to confront a fake, dressed-up Stan Kroenke and revealed the E in his name stood for "Enis" and then let the crowd participate in the dickjoke connection of the name. Of course, it made me think of former Penn State draft bust Curtis Enis. Then Vince merely pushed the fake Kroenke down and his music played. No stunner? Not even a DDT? Lame.

Then we had this abomination of impersonators ring side:

That is supposed to be from left to right: Lakers' owner Jerry Buss, Jack Nicholson, and NBA Commissioner David Stern. First off, the fake Buss looks like a woman in a red wig. Is it really that hard to find a good Jack impersonator in LA? He had a speaking part backstage and sounded nothing like the real thing. The Jack Nicholson voice is an easy one to imitate, and every white man can do a halfway decent one. It is a few steps down from being as universal to an Arnold voice. The one that makes me shake my head is the David Stern "look-a-like" and by look-a-like I mean looks not a damn bit like David Stern. This is David Stern:

They got old white guy and glasses part right and that is pretty much it. You might say that most wrestling fans would not know the difference but this edition of RAW was supposed to bring in the casual viewers and gain new followers. It instead showed why wrestling, while popular, is not as big as it was and continues to shrink as MMA expands.

The final straw was the mystery tag-team partner. It was some guy named 'Mr. Kennedy' who I had never heard of but apparently has been gone for awhile with injury. Another fail, this was a time for a celebrity, someone tied to basketball, The Rock since this was in Hollywood (I can dream can't I?), or some other long lost wrestler not seen in a long time. I refuse to waste my time with it anymore (even for Kelly Kelly), although game 4 over on TWWL was almost as unwatchable with the constant whistles, 84 free-throws and technical fouls.

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