Thursday Links

Hockey season is back! Ok I'm not the biggest hockey fan in the world and they do start their season in the midst of football season where nearly all the teams still are worth watching but that is the great thing about hockey, they keep plugging along no matter how bad the timing is. In case you missed it Wayne Gretzky got out as Phoenix head coach and while The Great One may have a little egg on his face, we know Superfan 99 will always be behind him, even if his head is bleeding.



Kimbo lost in a horribly dull match on the ultimate fighter last night. Nelson just kind of laid on him like a beached whale once he realized he had no chance to throw hands with Slice. Kimbo is not going anywhere though because White knows people will still tune in to see him. [Cagewriter]

Brady Quinn is out as Cleveland starter, must now eat his EAS from the sidelines while holding a clipboard. [Rumors and Rants]

Rio de Janeiro is rumored to be the favorite to take home the 2016 Olympic bid, even with the president making his way to Denmark. [Sporting Blog]

This preview of the New Jersey Devils was custom-made for our friend Walter Peckas it features a conversation with Admiral Ackbar, and that he is a Devils fan. [Melt Your Face Off]

Texas Tech is not quite the BCS darling they were a year ago. [Wizard of Odds]

More Hockey! Mats Sundin has been playing hockey since I was 8, but now the Bruce Willis clone is calling it quits. [Pension Plan Puppets]

Continue reading...

Phelps Mistake Being Overblown

With the news today that Kellogg is dropping Michael Phelps, or rather not extending his contract, the famous toke that Phelps took last weekend is now costing him more than just a little bad press. USA Swimming has suspended him for 3 months as well. The Kellogg spokesperson said "Michael's most recent behavior is not consistent with the image of Kellogg." That seems somewhat peculiar considering that dry Kellogg cereal is most likely a staple of satisfying the munchies. This could begin a chain reaction that causes Phelps to lose numerous endorsements which in itself is not horrifying since has already made millions off of them, but the entire fiasco seems predicated on the belief that this has never happened before and that it is a mortal sin. I in no way condone the smoking of weed but the media, the public, the authorites and Phelps himself need to put this incident in perspective and then move on.

This of course starts and ends with the perpetrator Phelps himself. Whatever he chooses to do when he is not in the middle of his training regiment in the seclusion of his own privacy is his prerogative. The mistake Phelps makes here is that he chooses to engage in the said activity in a place that is not local to him, in this case a University of South Carolina frat house. If you do not know all the people around you well enough to trust, do not place hands on the bong. In this day and age, you do not have to see a camera for you to be photographed and furthermore any picture taken of you can travel across in the world in seconds. It is possible that the dude that snapped the photo of Phelps made some coin off of Michael's mistake.

Of course, if Phelps is looked at in certain angles, it is possible to see why he would make these misteps. He has all the physical tools that make him the supreme swimmer along with the competitive drive and mental complex that fuels his desire to win. His social awkwardness is apparent in interviews and his SNL hosting skills, and his rough-edged sensitivity to anyone that speaks ill of his swimming performances were on display at the Water Cube. He is the perfect athlete but as a person, like us all he is fallible. When he received a DUI following his last Olympics it was excused as a kid being a kid even though he was 19 and an adult as far as the law was concerned. He is now 23 and there is no excuses left, to do something that a large segment of his demographic do and admit they do freely is not a proper explanation. He needs to recognize his trade-off that when you get the multi-millions in endorsements you do not get the same exemptions of a casual member of the public.

With all of that being said, this has been a snowball effect by the media from the beginning. This has been turned into the same effect if Phelps was mainlining black tar heroin while being surrounded by hookers. He is held to a higher standard yes, but if you cannot explain to a kid that Phelps did a dumb thing and made a poor choice and have that be that, you should have no influence on any child, anywhere. Just saying that will not rid the kid of curiosity but that is all you can do, they will face the reality of drugs and alcohol no matter how much you try to protect them so all you can do is try to nudge them on how to make wise choices.

Apart from the ridiculous claim that this somehow harms children has been the introduction of legal aspects. If you check out Catfish's walk-off on this week's Shackleford Files, he will share how I view the law enforcement down in Columbia discussing possibly charging Phelps with smoking weed.

The point is that Phelps deserves to be punished and in many ways already has for what he got caught doing. The severity of the punishment seems to be from everyone hopping on a self-righteous bandwagon of disdain for the actions of a young man attending a party. I suppose it is easy to forget that the Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes was arrested this year for being found with weed in his car and other athletes have committed far more greivous illegal acts than this one. This is the flavor of the moment; condemn something that is so easily condemnable because the proof is right there in front of your eyes. Hopefully the next time Phelps faces this situation he will pass the dutchie to the left-hand side.

Continue reading...

Top Ten List: Skits with Athletes on Saturday Night Live

On Saturday, Michael Phelps will be hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. He will be the 27th sports figure to host and the first non-basketball playing athlete to host a season premiere. With numerous blogs claiming they discovered the similarity of Phelps's failed attempt at facial hair causing him to resemble Gheorghe Muresan, perhaps this gives us a look at what to expect.

Continue reading for the Top Ten List.



I'm going to guess that there's a skit with Phelps celebrating ala "The Lezac Comeback," probably in an office setting. My darkhorses will be a skit featuring the green line, beating Will Forte in small task .01 at a time, and one where he can't swim (if they pull off a Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" skit, I'll stand and applaud.

OK, OK! Now with the top ten...

10. Not in a hosting spot, but this appearance by Kerri Strug makes the top 10, solely because of "Béla Károlyi" appearing at the end. Easily the most compelling commentator of the last Olympics, maybe it was because he actually cared about the sport.



9. Satisfying Cleet's demands that I include a Miami athlete...



8. The Juice doesn't want to be black anymore, (insert getting away with murder joke here). I can't bring myself to make a Gilda Radner joke.



7. Due to our love of the NFL team songs, this one had to make the Top Ten. The only video I could find of Walter Payton, but hey, it's Sweetness!



6. Much more popular than A-Rod's Flaming Fajitas. Flaming Fajitas has very good food if you go on any random night, but if you take an important client or date, invariably the server will mess up your order, forget to refill your drinks, overcharge you for dessert, and the manager promises to move the server to the smoking section in the back of the restaurant. Their signature drink, the April Bomber, is pretty good, but it does give you blue lips.



5. Tom Brady moving around nicely, and putting moves on the ladies.

4. I miss the old Shaq, the one that made bad movies, video games, and rap albums. He was so much nicer than the most recent Freestyling Shaq, and he actually played in the NBA back then too.



3. I decided not to post the Stuart Smalley clip, because Al Franken is a (political comment censored). At least we know what Michael Jordan is doing instead of developing a plan for the Bobcats.



2. Joe Montana as Sincere Guy Stu. It's too funny not to make the list. Unfortunately, I like the rest of the internet, do not have the video, but here is the transcript of the oft-referenced, "They won't disturb me. I'll be masturbating."

Since I can't have nine videos for a top ten list, I offer this one as a peace offering. "Wacky-go-jacky on Cleet like a WNBA fan eatin a waffle!"

1. Lovie Smith's gameplan had him confused, but Peyton's good enough for the top spot.



Much more can be found about athletes on SNL here.

Continue reading...

Seven Golds and One Silver: A Case for Instant Replay

Tonight, Major League Baseball will officially embrace instant replay, ending its long-standing resistance against introducing the technology. Even Commissioner Bud Selig is not excited to see the purists overruled, “My opposition to unlimited instant replay is still very much in play,” he said. “But when you look at the technology we have and you look at the new ballparks — and even some of the older ballparks that have been reconfigured — there’s no question that [these calls] were a challenge for the umpires and everyone else. Like so many times in life, you have to make an adjustment. And this seemed right for that.” Every sport has its need for technology. Tennis smoothly made the transition, Derek Fisher’s memorable .4 second shot against the Spurs states the case for basketball, and imagining football without replay seems archaic. The ultimate case for technology in sports, however, was made this year in Beijing.

It certainly was not in the National Indoor Stadium, where replay seemed to serve no purpose, other than to delay the proceedings. The case was made in the Water Cube. Everyone has been gushing over Michael Phelps’s eight gold medals, but consider this: If Michael Phelps was competing at the time of Mark Spitz (see note below), he would’ve had seven gold medals and a silver. Without the Omega touchpad timing device, no man, woman, or child would’ve correctly called the 100-meter Butterfly. Serbian Milorad Cavic would be the dragon-slayer, swimmings answer to the New York Giants. What everyone saw that night and what was right were different. If not for technology, Phelps’s hard work and dedication would’ve gone for naught. The world would’ve been robbed by one of the most impressive feats any of us have had the pleasure to see. Spitz would still be a record holder, but like Barry Bonds’s homerun total, it would’ve been a fraud.

During the 2004 ALCS it became clear that baseball needed instant replay. Even except for the Yankees and their fans were fortunate the umpiring crews got each call correct, but what it they hadn’t? Baseball would’ve lost out on the greatest playoff comeback in history. Human error remains a part of baseball, the ball will still roll through Buckner’s legs, curve balls will still hang, and A-Rod will still ground into double plays. The human error element will never be removed, it’s why we watch, but human error should never rob an athlete or a team of their achievements. The impact of this change may not be this year, but at some point a team’s success or failure will hinge on a call made right by instant replay. Purist or not, no one can argue when the calls are correct.


Note: I took a little bit of liberty with the facts. The touchpads used in the swimming pools were introduced in the 1968 Olympics, so Phelps’s results would’ve been correct. Before that, though, they used 3 men with stopwatches. So, if Michael Phelps was edging out Johnny Weismuller, there’s no way he wins the gold. Anyhow, you get the point. I just wanted to get the facts right, even if it took a little extra time to review.

Continue reading...

Memo to London: Respond by 2012

Morning Govna! I have a message to whoever is heading the London Olympic committee. I’m sure you were watching the opening ceremonies at the Beijing games a few weeks ago, and while you no doubt were mesmerized like the rest of us, I’m sure you were thinking “Oh dear, how are we going to match this?” Well you most likely cannot. You don’t employ the same kind of method of funding and you style of government actually lets your citizens think for themselves. But considering your country’s empire once covered one-third of the globe, you need to show some source of pride and I think I know how you can make a memorable moment.

First off, if you travel through your history, it will pale in comparison. China has been around longer than you and its history is more artistic. But I’m sure some show of the grand history will be shown. It should be pretty awkward with the US sitting there though when you get to the revolution. But I digress; there is one thing you can do that will erase anything else, any other memory from your opening ceremony and possibly the entire games from a non-athletic standpoint: Bring the Beatles back to play the opening ceremony.

I realize that two of the fabulous four are no longer with us, but that can be amended. The Beatles are the greatest thing you have produced in the modern era, and their reach was global. There has been a backlash against them recently, a new generation is proclaiming that they are not as good as they were hyped to be and they are overrated. That is to be expected, their music is not transcendent, but it was the phenomenon of their move to America, of their status as deities that made them the cultural icons. All the cultural icons in popular music today can trace perhaps even the tiniest connection back to when the Beatles got things rolling.

The original Beatles sadly never got back together and when John Lennon was senselessly murdered in 1980, that chance was lost forever. With the recent loss of George Harrison it makes Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr the only two originals. I don’t care what you have to pay them, what they ask for, or whatever else; get them on stage. For the other two spots, I suggest John’s son Julian, the one who “Hey Jude” was written for. His other son Sean, looks too much like Yoko. Yoko Ono should be kept away at all costs, she has done enough damage already. To replace the great guitar playing of George Harrison, another famous British musician, Eric Clapton should suffice. The four of them, on stage in Olympic Stadium playing just before the torch is lit, would attract global attention and provide the lasting image of the games and one that everyone will be talking about.

Whatever it takes, however you have to get it done. How else are you going to come close to what the Chinese did? You have four years, get rolling old chaps.

Continue reading...

Reflections of the Olympic Games

After the past sixteen days we have seen everything that is virtuous about sports in the global society. A great many other things have been seen along the way and naturally not all of them have been positive. I will not focus on the political implications (or at least try to) and I will limit the discussion of the downside of the games mainly because I thoroughly enjoyed this installment of the Summer Olympic Games. I believe our country’s athletes exemplified what is pure in the exaltation of athletic victory.

The Build Up

There was a great degree of trepidation as to how smoothly these games would run. The discussion of smog, the human rights issue and PEDs seemed as if they would but a damper on the games. The rumblings began with the protesting of the running of the Olympic torch. The lasting image that China used was the protesters attacking a paraplegic girl and the girl protecting the torch. She was hailed as a national hero. I don’t care what side of Tibet you hail from, physically going after a girl in a wheelchair for carrying an inanimate object is reprehensible. It’s a torch, not the keys to the Chinese military. The Chinese clearly had their act together when the Opening Ceremony began on the 8th. It’s hard to put into words the theatrical presentation of the Opening Ceremony and unless someone has seen it the description gets lost in translation. The enduring image was the towering Yao Ming walking side by side with a little boy who saved classmates in an earthquake that occurred in the Chinese countryside.

The Cube

The pool in the Water Cube was built for speed and for all who watched inside it or on TV, it was built for pleasure. The pool was designed wider and deeper to decrease the water disturbance and decrease the times. Combined with the aerodynamic Speedo suits the world records did not stand a chance, even Janet Evans’s 19 year old 1500m Freestyle record was crushed. At the head of the excitement stood Michael Phelps, with his immense breakfast, training regiment, motivation, and physical attributes. In the early stages of his run, it seemed the only one who could come close to Phelps was the green line marking the world record pace, but even the line fell short. It was in the 4x100 meter relay that the drama began. The anchor leg by Jason Lezak should be remembered as one of the greatest Olympic performances of all time. His amazing comeback on the French prompted the now indelible image of Phelps celebrating in exaltation. It was commented that Phelps was rejoicing in the fact that his dream of 8 Olympic medals was still alive, but I think he was simply captured in the moment of half disbelief that Lezak caught Bernard and half team pride for winning the race just as everyone watching was.

Phelps was clearly the best, but the swims were taking a toll on him. In a situation where he and the Serbian Cavic have equal amount of rest Phelps would win easily but in this case Michael was on the tail end of the gauntlet of races. The half stroke he took proved to be the difference proving that even the best benefit from an amount of luck. In the end, Phelps accomplished something that no one else has in Olympic history. That in itself should be celebrated and appreciated for the phenomenal event that transpired. The rush of hyperbole came on faster than Phelps in the last 15 meters of a race. Suddenly it was a question of how Phelps stacked up against the history of not only his own sport but also the greats of other games. I am hesitant to crown him king of athletes and lord of the Olympics, but I do know I was rooting for him, and most definitely admire his performance.

The Young and the Senseless

Having an older sister that competed in gymnastics I am accustomed to watching the sport every Olympics. I am not ashamed to say I know who Bart Connor is and the origins of the Thomas flare. I was glued to the television when Kim Zimeskal heartbreakingly failed to win gold in Barcelona and when Kerri Strug hit the vault on the broken leg. That being said I was both inspired and disappointed in what happened in the women’s competition. The judging was inconsistent and quite favorable to the Chinese. The Americans were penalized far more harshly for mistakes than the host country. Many times the wait for the judges scoring brought the competition to a halt while they discussed over the phone the routines or watched them in slow motion on their monitors. The American team’s hopes fell when Alicia Sacramone fell off the beam and then on the floor. At 20 years old, this was likely Alicia’s last Olympics and it was aching to watch her after the stumble on the floor. Is there any worse feeling in sports than letting your team down?

Nastia Luken and Shawn Johnson redeemed the second place team finish with a great battle in the All-around which they continued in the Event finals. Some of the Chinese team members are not of age, I don’t care what you say its common sense. The Americans never made a case of this, and simply pressed on. It was great to see Shawn finally get a medal on the floor. In all the sports of the Olympic Games the athlete’s sacrifice, but particularly in gymnastics the training is brutal. Everyday spent in the gym, taking a pounding again and again all for one chance at a routine every four years. Underage and pre-menstrual jokes aside, the dedication and precision of Nastia and Shawn’s performances are more than admirable.

The suspect judging of course was prevalent in the indoor stadium. Alicia Sacramone lost out on a bronze medal in the vault to Chung Fei of China who missed so badly on her second vault she landed on her knees. Jonathan Horton completed a dazzling high bar routine in the Event finals and produced a better landing than his Chinese counterpart, yet had to take the silver. The Chinese crowd even booed his lower score when it was revealed. All being said, the American men took home the team Bronze with a team half filled with alternates and the American women took home more medals overall than the Chinese.

The Bobsled team has a lot to live up to

On the track, Usain Bolt put forth a performance on par with Phelps in the pool. It included breaking the 100 meter record while looking around the last 15, pushing in the 200 meters past Michael Johnson’s Atlanta record, and finally running behind Asafa Powell in the 4x100 relay rooting him on to another world record. Bolt was criticized by the IOC president and others for his celebrations after he won, but no one could deny his greatness. At only 22, he has a chance to become even more of a legend in London.

Elsewhere on the track, the USA team had both great successes and failures. The most heart wrenching of the latter was women’s hurdler Lolo Jones. With two hurdles to go in the finals, Jones caught the hurdle even though she miraculously stayed on her feet she finished out of the medals. At 26, it is unknown if she will be in there in London to try again. Watching the tears leak out of the eyes of the beautiful woman whom no one had wanted when she was young and finally found a loving foster home was like a shot to the gut. Yet despite the disappointment she still gave an interview and even managed a smile and congratulations for her competitors. The baton passing was errant to say the least in the 100 meter races but the 400 meter races went well for the Americans. Despite those that fell below expectations, the Americans came away with more medals than they ever have in an Olympic games. This included Decathlon winner Bryan Clay, one of the athletes that participated in a heightened drug testing program before and during the span of the games.

Redemption Song

The Redeem team not only had a well conceived nickname, the team itself was well conceived. When Jerry Colangelo was given the reigns to USA Basketball, he made it a point to only bring on players that wanted to win the gold back after the debacle in Athens. I cannot think of another venture in which 12 multimillionaires came together and played so selflessly for each other and their country. They were impressive early and their play was spectacular at times, but in the final against Spain their determination rose above all else. As Catfish said in a text he sent me, “The rumors of Dwayne Wade’s demise were exaggerated.” Wade came through in every single game with a big performance including a 9-12 game in the finals. As great as this win is and should be celebrated, can the USA team being this energy and attitude in every installment of the Olympic Games?

The Spirit

There are stories too many to count but those are the moments that stuck out in my mind. Just today seeing Hugh McCutcheon taking a moment for himself in the tunnel after his men’s volleyball team won gold after the tragic death of his father-in-law. In the spirit of competition and emotion these games were tantamount to any we have seen. It is hard to fathom what goes through the mind of any of the American athletes that won gold and stands on the podium hearing the national anthem. Perhaps they think of their country and what is good about what it means to be American. Maybe their thoughts fall on all the training, sacrifice and hard work that has led to this moment. Or maybe it is something as simple as the fact that they can’t wait to get back to the Olympic village and participate in the “activities” that occur after competition. For most of the athletes, it is back to a life of anonymity, and for those who did not come home with hardware, it is an even more thankless return home. I do not wish to place these athletes on an unworthy pedestal; I merely recognize and appreciate what these men and women stand for, and what they go through. Even now I look forward to the next Olympics, where this unique congregation of sport meets again.

Continue reading...

Daring Dara to Prove the Truth Seems as Unlikely as Her Accomplishment in the Pool

After watching several stories on 41 year-old Dara Torres including the clip below from PTI yesterday, and reading several good articles including Jason Whitlock’s column on the matter, I still don’t know where I stand on whether or not the swimmer is using an illegal advantage on her way to making the Olympic team for the fifth time.

As Whitlock points out, there has been as much scrutiny of Torres’s accomplishments as there has been praise. It is the reality now. No athlete, no matter the color, the reputation, or the testing will be cleared fully from now on. It is something that will mark every athlete who accomplishes the seemingly impossible from now on. To the casual observer, it would appear a definite that Torres was on PEDs. She is 41, has had a baby, underwent surgery, and spends less time in the pool than ever.

Her training regiment has been well documented. She spends hours a day stretching with two different trainers,two different masseuses and employs a chiropractor daily. Also using Meridian Resistance training and keying in on flexibility, Torres is swimming faster than ever before. The resistance stretching is named as the key source for the boost in Torres’s time.

This is not to say that there are not materials that Torres puts in her body outside of natural foods. She has a bountiful set of supplements that she takes daily. All of these supplements are of course approved by the IOC and include amino acid building supplements. The biggest contention of detractors is the asthma medicine she inhales thirty minutes before competition. The medicine increases the amount of air her lungs can take in. This appears to give a string advantage to Torres even though she argues she would not be able to breath at all without it. The medication is, when all is said and done, doctor approved and cleared for competition.

Torres has stood firm on the fact she is clean. She has begged for testing, she has referenced the East Germans she used to compete against and stated she would never do that. The largest show of relative purity is her volunteering in the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency program. Michael Phelps is also participating in the program which tests athletes well beyond the standards of normal tests. The USADA will test the urine and blood and Torres has even told them to keep the samples for as long as they want in case something is discovered down the road. She went to the USADA by herself with no legal counsel and offered her to be tested every which way.

This is in my memory the first time anyone under strong suspicion of using PEDs has sought out being tested. Think of those attempted to beguile us. Floyd Landis went on Good Morning America and plead his case, but his sample told the truth. Marion Jones denied time after time, on print and on camera, that she had never taken drugs. Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds arrogantly told us they had no part in the steroid crisis in baseball. Rafael Palmeiro pointed his finger at congress months before a test proved him a liar. Torres is attempting to confront this before, during, and after the fact. I at least admire her for that simple fact: she wants the world to know what she has in her system. As these Olympics progress not a day will go by without talk of who may or may not be taking what, and each of us must choose what to believe. I still cannot say one way or the other on Torres and that sadly will continue to be the conclusion of athletes who achieve above the norm.

Is Dara Torres Clean? I'm a Believer [NBCOlympics.com]
There's Something Fishy About Old Swimmer [Kansascity.com]

Continue reading...