Mr. Green Banks $1 Million

I am an admitted Jeopardy fan. I watch the show every chance I get and have even tried out for it. Alas I only made the 2nd round of the tryouts but it is a longtime goal to make the show. Jeopardy just got finished with its $1 million celebrity tournament. Normally the celebrity versions are a breeze, allowing entertainers that are not normally known for their scholarly prowess to compete and win money for their favorite charity. However, since the prize so great and the celebrities they invited had all performed well on the show previously, the questions were a little more difficult. I also had a rooting interest. Michael McKean was one of the finalists, going up against Cheech Marin and Jane Curtin. Now most people know McKean from Spinal Tap and his most recent projects like A Mighty Wind and Best in Show. He also was on SNL for awhile. For me, his most indelible role will always be as Mr. Green in Clue.

I used his given weapon, the lead pipe, as the basis for my NFL "lock" picks in 2008. I did this mostly as a mocking of the use of the term lead pipe locks, but also because I have an unhealthy obsession with the movie Clue. So needless to say I was rooting hard for McKean to win. If I ever met Michael the first thing I would want to talk about is Clue,and I'm sure that there are little or no people that would do the same.



McKean won the title and preserved his perfect record on Jeopardy(which includes Rock and Roll Jeorpardy). His $1 million prize money goes to the International Myeloma Foundation. In its own words,

The International Myeloma Foundation is the oldest and largest myeloma organization, reaching more than 195,000 members in 113 countries worldwide. A 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization dedicated to improving the quality of life of myeloma patients and their families, the IMF focuses in four key areas: research, education, support, and advocacy. To date, the IMF has conducted more than 200 educational seminars worldwide, maintains a world-renowned hotline, and operates Bank on a Cure®, a unique gene bank to advance myeloma research. The IMF can be reached at (800) 452-CURE.

Congratulations Mr. Green.

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Closing Out the NFL Season

Brenda Warner was only shown on TV 7 times, that is the only stat you really need to know about who won Super Bowl 43. The game was entertaining and ended in furious fashion as Arizona battled back from 13 down and scored 16 in the final quarter, but the Steelers made the winning pays at the end to take the game 27-23. Some thoughts on the game and the final recap of my lead pipe picks after the break.



The way Pittsburgh started this game, it seemed my two possesion score prediction would be correct, but the Cardinals finally had definitive proof that they are as tough as any team in the NFL. In a Super Bowl full of memorable moments, the end of the first half provided perhaps the biggest play. James Harrison dropped into pass coverage and intercepted Warner at the goal line and ran it back 100 yards for the TD. The 14 point swing led many to believe that Arizona could not fight back.

The third quarter was dominated by the Steelers and by one drive full of questionable calls. Fortunately, the Steelers were held to a field goal after Adrian Wilson was called for a personal foul for bumping into the holder Mitch Berger on a short field goal attempt. The Cardinals' defense made a stand that their offense fed off of. Larry Fitzgerald finally got into the game on the next drive, in fact he took over. His incredible touchdown grab on a fade route has become routine, as the ball floated over to him and he was well-covered, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he would catch the ball.

Ken Whisenhunt deserves props for punting the ball with just under 4 minutes left and pinning the Steelers deep. Justin Hartwig committed holding in the endzone which resulted in a safety. After the punt, Warner hit Fitzgerald on a short diagonal and then outraced the Steeler secondary 64 yards for the go-ahead score 23-20.

The game then rested on Big Ben and his offense. After Pittsburgh set themselves back with a holding call, they marched down and picked the Arizona zone apart. The coverage was not the entire downfall of the Cardinals. First off, Santonio Holmes made one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history to score the go-ahead TD. But the Cardinals could have won the game if they could have taken down Roethlisberger at the end. I wrote this in my Super Bowl prediction post last week:

'Getting to Roethlisberger is not enough, they have to put him on the ground while he still have the ball in his hands. Baltimore got plenty of pressure on Ben, but with the protection he was seeing all year he knew how to escape it and make plays down the field. The Cardinals need sacks, not hurries.'

The Cards got pressure on Ben on the final drive, but their inability to take him down on that drive cost them the game. No doubt the Cardinals are not satisfied with a moral victory, but they truly played a tough, inspired football game and it is a shame they came away with nothing in the end. I get the feeling that this might be the only shot in a long time for Arizona, and that it should only increase the pain of the loss for the players and fans.

My Super Bowl pick of the Steelers was correct, although I was rooting the other way and the game truly was a toss-up in the end. My final pick standings for the 2008 NFL season:

Regular Season: 158-97 (.620)
Playoffs: 5-6 (.455)

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Super Bowl XLIII Mr. Green Lead Pipe Lock

Sadly, we are at our Mr.Green NFL pick of the year. Come now, dry your eyes, pick your head up and wipe that nose, face the end of football season like a man. The storylines may have been a little more dull than usual and the Cardinals may have come out of nowhere, and the Steeler fans may be annoying and even more so if they win, but we still have the chance of an entertaining game. If you are a true sports fan, you could give two shits about who is singing the sponsored pre-game show or what Springsteen will open with at halftime, you only care about watching the game and that is why the Super Bowl has become almost unbearable for those who follow football all year long. It has become so bloated with corporate partnerships, desperate attempts to reach all audiences, and media hype that it is not just a football game. It is painful if your team is in it, especially if it is a closee game; trying to focus on what is going on the field when you have Joe Buck and Troy Aikman waxing poetic about inane storylines and celebrity gossip makes you want to stab yourself with the cheeseknife coated with hotwing sauce. Just as in the BCS title game I will be rooting more against one team that for another one, so if the team I loathe jumps ahead, the 30 minute halftime show is going to seem like an eternity. More diatribing and my pick for the game after the break.

Regular Season: 158-97 (.614)
Playoffs: 4-6

My all birds Super Bowl fell short as the Ravens could not seal the deal. I have done my best this year to avoid as much media coverage as I could these past two weeks and for the most part I did. I started this ritual last year since my team was in the game and believe I will follow it from here on out on every Super Bowl. In fact in my opinion the best way to get through the two weeks before the Super Bowl is to ignore it as much as possible. This does not mean refusing to speak about it or listen to the radio or what not, but just thinking of the game in the context of your own mind and then trying your best to enjoy it on Sunday. This may be an emo approach, and I'm not saying do not enjoy whatever function you are heading to for the game, but you want to watch the game don't you? If you want to be social and try to score by all means buddy, just don't come walking around on Monday like you broke down the game film overnight. If someone says to you at any point "I don't like the game, I just like the commercials" and they don't have breasts you are well within your rights to punch them in the face.



First, my breakdown of the game:

Cardinals

On offense the obvious key is to protect Warner. This is not groundbreaking news, the quarterback has to remain upright in order for the team to win. Can the O-line hold off Harrison and Woodley? Another key is to get Edge and Tim Hightower involved early, but they cannot just expect to do the basic handoffs and create a solid running game. Remember how great Darren Sproles was playing going into the Chargers divisional game in Pittsburgh? 11 rushes, 15 yards. You're not going to establish your running backs with simpe handoffs against theis defense. Arizona is going to have to run screens, draws and get Hightower one on one with Steeler tacklers just like the Titans did with Chris Johnson, forcing it up the gut will not work. If you ask most people they probably could not name a single offensive lineman for the Cardinals, but they have to play very well for the Cards to have a shot and not just in pass protection. If Warner is on his game, the line does not need to give him tons of time, Kurt is one of the best at releasing the ball a split second before he gets hit and getting it there on time. The Titans defense was relentless in Warner's Super Bowl with the Rams, but he got off a pass just before getting leveled which lead to Isaac Bruce's winning touchdown. In Super Bowl 36 against the Patriots, the defense rarely blitzed and dropped 5,6, and sometimes even 7 defensive backs in coverage. The Steelers do not have the personnel to do this and besides, blitzing is what they do best. The blitz is coming and if the Cardinals get down early or into 3rd and long, the pass rushers will pin their ears back and make life tough for the passing game. Seeing as how Larry Fitzgerald is going to be blanketed, Catfish's point of emphasis on Anquan Boldin will be huge, and also look for the tightend Leonard Pope to be a factor early.

On defense for the Cardinals, just like the offense, it starts up front with the play of the defensive line. Getting to Roethlisberger is not enough, they have to put him on the ground while he still have the ball in his hands. Baltimore got plenty of pressure on Ben, but with the protection he was seeing all year he knew how to escape it and make plays down the field. The Cardinals need sacks, not hurries. Willie Parker had a great Super Bowl 40, and if the Steelers get running early, they will slow the game down and prevent the Arizona offense from getting on the field. A final key for the Arizona defense is to be physical and set the tone early. Pittsburgh prides themselves on being a tough team and hard hitting, Arizona needs to show that they can match that intensity. I would almost suggest a 15 yard penalty on the Steeler's first possession unless they have good field position, that or a jarring hit on a wide receiver would send the message.

Steelers

For the Steeler offense, run the ball early and often. Given the numbers, Ben can get you a game-winning drive and can steer a steady ship, but you do not want him tossing it all over the field because he can throw picks. Give him a solid run game and he is deadly. Setting up play action and utilizing Heath Miller will keep the defense off-balance, especially if Roethlisberger has time or makes time to throw. Pittsburgh usually has someone on offense step up and make a big play and they will need it for this game. Santonio Holmes can blaze(see what I did there?) down the field and perhaps Limas Sweed will emerge as the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot player of the game, especially if Hines Ward is unable to be effective.

The Steelers defense hardly needs breaking down. Dick Lebeau is 71 years old and looks like he is 56, his players love him, and his defensive schemes have shut down almost every opponent. So the Steeler D just needs to do what it does. Hit hard, shut down the run, and get Warner on his back. With two weeks to prepare and watch Larry Fitzgerald burn Asante Samuel and Panthers linebackers, I'm dying to see how Lebeau and company are going to approach this. My guess would be to have Polamalu shade over to Fitz all night. Troy can definitely break up or catch those jump balls that Larry has been snatching out of the air. This will leave a large burden on the other Pittsburgh defensive backs: Townsend, Ike Taylor, Gay, and Mcfadden. But if you are going to give up yards in the air, you have to believe they don't want it to be by Fitzgerald's hands(claws).



Key injuries
Steelers:
WR Hines Ward(Questionable- Knee)
DB Deshea Townsend(Questionable- Hamstring)
OLB James Harrison(Questionable- Hip)

Cardinals:
DE Travis LaBoy(Questionable- Bicep)
DE Antonio Smith(Questionable- Knee)
WR Anquan Boldin(Probable- Hamstring)
WR Steve Breaston(Questionable- Ribs)
OT Mike Gandy(Questionable- Ankle)



Final Call

As a Patriots fan and a person who lives in a city full of Steeler fans, particularly their scary female contingent I can honestly say I will be rooting against Pittsburgh. I'm sorry if that makes yins angry, but I am not alone in my sentiment. When we watch the game on XM's 60" 61" HD TV, myself, he and Catfish will be cheering Warner, the Almighty, and the Cardinals on. Here's hoping they can defeat the evil Steelers before we are faced with this:



That being said, my pick is the Steelers. I think the Cardinals coaching staff is strong and will come out with a good game plan because of the Whisenhunt factor, but in the end, the Steelers defense makes the difference. The Cardinals will hang in their early but the Steelers force mistakes and pull away in the second half by two possesions. All I can do now is sit back and hope I am wrong. Enjoy the game everyone.




(Photoshops courtesy of KSK)

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Championship Games Mr. Green Locks

The slowdown in blog activity is directly the result of Catfish's introduction of Sporcle into our lives. For trivia-loving folks such as us, this is a death warrant. I have not gotten one thing accomplished since I wandered over to this place. After I finished the sports category I have been doing them at random. I am however taking a break from trying to name all of Elton John's top 40 hits to make my predictions for this weekend's games. How much value should you put into my picks? I went 0-4 last week so the answer is a lot! But at least I'm not bitching about my 0-for like Simmons. Spoke too soon about reading his stuff again I guess. On to the picks...

Regular Season: 158-97 (.614)
Playoffs: 3-5

PHI at ARI: Cardinals- I just finished typing that pick I want to change it. My big key to this game is how Warner plays. The Eagles offense is going to putter around as usual but score some points and the Eagles secondary can be exploited if Warner is accurate and on his game. So hopefully for Cards fans Warner will toss the bean better than he draws deities:

When Warner has a bad game, he can really have a bad game so while the game is not totally dependent on him, he has to play well for Arizona to stay in the game which according to my pick I think he will. Seeing the Pink Taco full and rowdy for not just a playoff game but a game for a trip to the Super Bowl. To me it will be like the Tampa Bay Rays at the Trop except the stadium is not a horrible piece of crap. This is not a slight on the Cardinals, I know they have been horrible for many years and used to play in a heat conductor of a shithouse stadium which I have been to, but it is a shock to the eyes to see franchises you have seen suck for so many years be playing in such an important game. I actually welcome it and hope it continues in the NFL and all sports.

BAL at PIT: Ravens- Just like Warner is the key to the Cards success, the key for Baltimore is turnovers. It does not get more cliche than turnovers but after forcing 8 so far in the playoffs, the Ravens have become good at it. This will be a battle like the one in Nashville and I think Pittsburgh's win against the Chargers was a little too easy and that combined with their poor record in conference championship games at Heinz Field leads me toward picking the Ravens. The running game will not be as fruitful for the Steelers as it was against San Diego last week. We were faced with the prospect of an all-Manning bowl whch failed, a Broadway bowl that failed so now I believe the Keystone State bowl will fail as well.

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Divisional Round Weekend: Mr. Green Locks

Every team left with the exception of the Cardinals is being considered a legitimate Super Bowl possibility. The only game I missed last week was the OT game in San Diego that could have gone either way. This week the picks are more difficult to me, but I do my best to deduce the dictation of the events that will unfold this weekend.

Regular Season: 158-97 (.614)
Playoffs: 3-1

BAL at TEN: Titans- This is a game you either can't wait to see or you have interest in football whatsoever. There will be enough hard-hitting and trash-talking for all games this weekend combined. The Ravens are the trendy pick but will face a much tougher defense and an offense not prone to make mistakes. Kerry Collins has won big playoff games in his career despite what people think, he just never won a ring. I'm not expecting a huge margin but I think the Titans make one more break away play than the Ravens.

ARI at CAR: Panthers- I'm happy for the Cardinals I really am. Unless I have something against the town or one of the personnel I root for losing organizations. Of course I root for Edge and Antrel since they are former Hurricanes. The Panthers are my second favorite team however and if they are not playing the Patriots, I want them to win. I refrain from using "we" and have not the allegiance that Catfish and Xtra Medium do, but I grew up in Charlotte, and it would be great for this team to succeed. For who I think will win, the east coast trek, the cold weather, possible rain, bum wheel for Boldin, the run-stoppers back for Carolina will all help to do the Cards in.

PHI at NYG: Giants- This is a puzzling pick to say the least. Which way do I go? Which McNabb will show up? Is Jacobs back to full speed? Did the bye hurt the Giants from a mental standpoint? How far will the Eagles' cockiness take them? In the end, I went with the home team who was more consistent- more consistent in a good way as oppossed to Philly's consistent lack of consistency.

SD at PIT: Chargers- Do Steeler fans annoy you like no other? Then you must read this piece of gold from KSK. In this game I am going with the hot hand, not the concussed head of Big Ben. This is exactly the type of game the Chargers want to be playing in. Sproles will squirt around the field and when Rivers isn't slamming a busted screen into the ground, he has been as hot as any QB throwing the ball. Ron Rivera has given the defense confidence and great schemes during their win streak. Even the special teams are going well for them. The Chargers have the momentum and I think that carries them through to a second straight AFC championship game.

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Wild Card Weekend: Mr. Green Locks

The only thing that can counter the excitement of NFL playoff football is the fact that there are so few games left and so few on at any given time. But that is a trifle of numerics when you consider that playoff football is as exciting as any other sporting event unless the games are blowouts, then it's rather dull watching some other team crush the other's dreams unless your team is the one doing the crushing. Last week I finished the regular season strong, only missing on two games (shakes fist at Jets) which is how you want to be playing when you reach the post-season. On to the wild-card picks after the break...

Last week: 14-2
Season: 158-97

ATL at ARI: Cardinals- Yes I know they are underdogs at home and cannot stop the run and that they have been playing horribly toward the end of the year, but I am picking one team that goes against every fiber in my brain because I'm sure one of them will lose this weekend. Together Edge and Tim Hightower do not even have 1,000 yards rushing, Michael Turner was one shy of 1,700. Matt Ryan has answered every challenge this year, but everyone keeps waiting for the fall to come. It should be quite a scene in the Pink Taco tomorrow, well, probably not.

IND at SD: Colts- It is interesting how things worked out for Indy to have to travel to San Diego for this game to face arguably the hottest offense in the league. Philip Rivers can sling, no one can deny that now, but will the Chargers have the discipline to beat the Colts at crunchtime? My short answer is no and it is not just because of Norv Turner who is an easy scapegoat for any of your team's problems while he is the head coach. When the Colts beat the Chargers this season in a last minute drive I talked of how these two teams are bizarro images of each other. I still believe that point, but I also said San Diego was not going to the playoffs. When these two teams meet, it comes down to execution and the Chargers provided that last year in the playoffs in Indianapolis, but a healthy Dallas Clark is so crucial to what the Colts do. Also, Indy will get Bob Sanders back for at least a quarter and half before he gets injured again.

BAL at MIA: Ravens- The Dolphins do not turn the ball over, that is why they are in and the Jets and Patriots will be watching them on Sunday. Miami's other reasons for success has been Chad Penningston's steady, if not fluid arm and the wildcat formation. I think Baltimore's defense neutralizes all of these factors. The 27-13 win by Baltimore in week 7 was no random early season match-up. The Ravens defense is going to hound and harass the Dolphins offense all day. Ed Reed patrols the secondary while Suggs, Ray-Lew and company provide the pop up front. Joe Flacco has improved every step of the way (minus Pittsburgh) and the Ravens have a multi-dimensional ground attack of their own with McGahee, McClain and Rice.

PHI at MIN: Eagles- The Vikings have the leading rusher in the NFL, a home playoff game to start their run, a stout run defense, and have been playing well lately. All those factors mean nothing because the Eagles are the hottest team in the NFC and you will be hard pressed to find someone picking Minnesota. The game is not a sell-out yet which tells me the Viking faithful are not too confident either and would rather watch with trepidation from home or a bar than shell out the coin to possibly watch their team get trounced. They key for Philly is to stick with what works, which for Andy Reid and McNabb is sometimes easier said than done.

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Week 17 NFL Mr. Green Locks

Another 8-8 effort tells me I'm sputtering to the finish line in my NFL picks this year. Since I am peacing out of the office today at noon, I am getting my picks in although at this point I'm afraid of how they will turn out, but it is the last week so let's go to the picks.

Last Week: 8-8
Season: 144-94

KC at CIN: Bengals- The Bengals are starting to show how decent they could have been

OAK at TB: Bucs- Tampa may have sealed their fate against Marmalard last week.

CLE at PIT: Steelers- Yes I think the entire Steelers 2nd string is better than what the Browns throw out there.

NE at BUF: Patriots- If the Ravens and Dolphins win and the Pats are eliminated it will be the most proud I've been of a non-playoff team that I root for in my life. (Yes I know you all hate them with the burning of a thousand fires)

STL at ATL: Falcons- Even Catfish has to pull for Atlanta.

CHI at HOU: Texans- Something about this game tells me the Bears are going to fall flat, although that something might be the same thing that steered me to a .500 mark alst week.

TEN at IND: Colts- Everyone has been waiting for the Young-Sorgi match-up and it's finally here!

NYG at MIN: Vikings- How will the Giants respond this year to being able to take it easy as opposed to alst year's furious finish?

CAR at NO: Panthers- If Carolina fails in this game, it will be a devastated playoff team. Hint: Get the ball to Steve Smith the whole game.

DET at GB: Packers- However much respect a 0-16 team can get, Detroit is getting all of it. From now on, being a Lions fan will be a sports badge of honor.

SEA at ARI: Cardinals- If only for my own personal belief in this team I think they turn it around in this game, even if Mr. Beerbong plays most of the game under center.

DAL at PHI: Eagles- There will be a lot of broken dreams and media carnage after this one is over.

MIA at NYJ: Jets- So much on the line, and Pennington returns to Giants Stadium.

WSH at SF: 49ers- Tirico pointed out yesterday that if the Niners had scored at the end of the MNF game, they would be playing for the NFC West in this game.

JAC at BAL: Ravens- The Ravens have not had a week off since September 14th but this win gets them in the playoffs.

DEN at SD: Chargers- This is the Chargers' redemption song.

For the final Clue factoid of the year (I won't be doing them during the playoffs) we go by the numbers, the film "only" $13,377,261 after it's 38th day of release and was not considered a success. Of course, success will always lie in the mind of the viewer.

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Week 16 NFL Mr. Green Locks

My upset special from last week turned out to be right when I picked teh Texans over the Titans, but my joy was dampered by the 8-8 mark overall. At just over 63% for the year, I have accepted the fact that I am not guru, but hopefully in the last two weeks I can go on a Nostradamus-like streak and finish up toward the .700 clip. On to the picks..

Last Week: 8-8
Season: 136-86

IND at JAC: Colts- The Colts are not in the playoffs officially, but they will be soon.

BAL at DAL: Cowboys- Those two games you gave away to the Steelers are going to cost you Ravens, and the cost will be prohibitve.

MIA at KC: Dolphins- Tony Sporano is getting coach of the year love, everyone is mentioning how few turnovers they have, they are going to a cold weather city, and people are praising Chad Pennington. I have lost all confidence in this pick.

NO at DET: Saints- Finally, a game where New Orleans' slingy offense and lack of defense pays off.

CIN at CLE: Bengals- Let's just move on shall we?

SD at TB: Bucs- Despite the injuries I'll take the Bucs who are undefeated at home and playing a west coast team at 1:00 EST.

PIT at TEN: Steelers- Plenty of good seats available on the Tennessee bandwagon....anyone?

SF at STL: 49ers- Mike Singletary and Jim Haslett care about this game probably more than anyone.

ARI at NE: Patriots- With the Patriots shaky secondary, the pressure is going to be on their offense to score early and often.

BUF at DEN: Broncos- If Denver blows this game, we might see some facial expressions from Mike Shanahan that we have not seen in awhile.

NYJ at SEA: Seahawks- This is a really tough game to pick, and some of this pick may be my heart overtaking my head, and bad stuff has happened to me when I've done that.

HOU at OAK: Texans- Hey, I'm getting smushed on this Houston bandwagon for next year, I was here first! Where did all of you come from, Tennessee?

PHI at WSH: Eagles- Philly fans you do realize this kind of run will result in more Reid? That's what you want, even if your trip to the playoffs ends in the first round?

ATL at MIN: Vikings- Despite Pat Williams going down, I think the Vikings hold on in a close one. The game may only take 2 hours with all the running that will go on.

CAR at NYG: Panthers- I can't go against the hot hand here. The Panthers are confident and have the talent to back it up.

GB at CHI: Bears- I was pulling for you this year Green Bay, I really was.

Time for the Clue factoid. At the end of the movie(Spoiler Alert!), Wadsworth reveals his ultimate plot, that he is the blackmailer and brought the dinner guests there to dispose of his accomplices. He is then asked if the plot had anything to do with communism(remember this movie was made in the '80s and took mplace in the '50s) to which he replies, "Of course not, communism was just a red herring." The term red herring which means to give a replay in to an argument that has nothing to do with the real issue. The term comes from the old days when criminals used to use fish to lead the tracking dogs off their trail. I told you these factoids were going to get iffy toward the end of the year.

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Week 15 Mr. Green Locks

I am doing my picks from a remote location, and by remote I mean XM's living room while we shoot the bull and by shoot the bull I mean drink whiskey and cuss a lot. Last week was another decent week but would have been even better if the Cowboys had held on. On to the picks...

Last week: 11-5
Season: 128-79

NO at CHI: Saints- All signs point to Bears, so I'm going Saints.

TB at ATL: Falcons- Home teams have success in the NFC South this year and I expect this game will be no different.

SEA at STL: Rams- Just because.

BUF at NYJ: Jets- If the Jets choke here, I can't wait to see the Favre press conference. How great would it be if the Jets and Packers miss the playoffs.

SF at MIA: Dolphins- I said on the podcast that the Dolphins will emerge from the AFC East and I stand by that.

SD at KC: Chiefs- I expect another great effort from KC this week. The Chargers look like they don't want to be out there.

GB at JAC: Packers- The broken dreams bowl.

WSH at CIN: Redskins- Since Clinton Portis is my boy from the U, let's just move on.

TEN at HOU: Texans- An upset special, Titans have clenched and Texans are on fire.

DET at IND: Colts- The country(including the state of Michigan) is really getting behind the 0-16 dream.

MIN at ARI: Cardinals- Just because the Cards clinched doesn't mean they don't want to finish ahead of the Vikings.

NE at OAK: Patriots- A must have game for the Pats. Not to jump up on a soapbox here, but if you think you have to make a joke about Matt Cassel's father to be funny, you're a fucking idiot.

DEN at CAR: Panthers- Catfish refuses to call this a trap game but in my mind it is a classic trap game yet the Panthers will survive.

PIT at BAL: Ravens- Will Baltimore really give away another game to Pittsburgh?

NYG at DAL: Giants- Not a Giants fan by any stretch of the imagination but please put a stake in this team.

CLE at PHI: Eagles- This team just won't die. I'm talking about the Eagles, not the Browns, they die early and often.

Tough to pull a Clue fact on short notice since I'm trying to get these in before the NFL Network game tonight (don't worry XM doesn't get it so I have no clue of the score) but enjoy some Clue Math.

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Week 14 NFL Mr. Green Locks

Just like the last couple of weeks I have been swamped at work and not able to do too much blogging during the day. It is quite frustrating, and with a game again tonight on the NFL network, my picks are due in on Thursday. I had planned to regale the readers with a tale of yesterday eve, but those plans have to be put to the side in order to finish my work at my paying job and get these picks in and actually give them some thought. I am pretty miffed that the network that most of the country doesn't get chooses to play these Thursday games this often in the year. I expect teams can't be too happy about having to cut their week short and when you factor in the travel for the away teams (like Arizona going all the way to Philly in 4 days) and then the teams they play in subsequent weeks are at a disadvantage because their opponents have 3 extra days of rest. Beside the point, the picks must be made and read on after the break for this week's edition.

Last Week: 10-6
Season: 117-74

OAK at SD: Chargers- They won't be flocking to the bars to see this one.

CLE at TEN: Titans- I have a soft spot for Ken Dorsey and I certainly don't envy him this week. I know he has never worked out as a pro and probably was not going to materialize into something special but his one shot as a starter was with a putrid 49er team and now he gets to face the Titans pass rush and defensive backfield with the Browns of this year. Ken may have never become an NFL legend, but to us Hurricane fans he will always be the man. I went to the Tennessee-UM game the year after Dorsey graduated and while I was sitting in the student section a crowd of people came out on the sidelines right in front of us. It was a bunch of former players and P Diddy who was sporting a mohawk. Diddy got a nice cheer from the student section, especially when he started gyrating to some timeout music, but then out walked Ken Dorsey. The whole section and then the rest of the Orange Bowl erupted. A chant of "Dorsey, Dorsey" started throughout the stadium. It was a great thing to see especially since UM lost that game due to horrible QB play from Brock Berlin. That was also the Kellen Winslow Jr. "I'm a soldier" game. Good times but what I was trying to say in that inane babble was that Dorsey is a nice guy, a hell of a college QB and I wish him well this Sunday, I'll be rooting for him.



JAC at CHI: Bears- The Bears need this game badly and I presume it will be cold in Chicago this weekend since it is here in Charlotte.

MIN at DET: Vikings- Daunte needs the rest of his team to have their head to the grindstone, but unfortunately the Lions' collective heads are in the guillotine.

HOU at GB: Packers- So badly want to take the Texans, but something is holding me back.

CIN at IND: Colts- Can this game be any uglier that the Colts-Browns game last week?

ATL at NO: Falcons- The Falcons are rolling and the Saints are all but out of the playoff conversation.

PHI at NYG: Giants- This team has no Burress, this team needs no Burress.

NE at SEA: Patriots- If only the Patriots and Deion Branch had made up....

NYJ at SF: Jets- The Jets are not going to be as accomodating as the Bills were the Niners last week.

KC at DEN: Broncos- Denver has found its feet and now can focus on getting obliterated in the wild card round of the playoffs.

MIA at BUF: Dolphins- Beyond Skydome.

DAL at PIT: Cowboys- Two fan bases and franchises I can't stand, but I cannot wait to watch this game.

STL at ARI: Cardinals- Cardinals should be well rested.

WSH at BAL: Ravens- The Redskins have taken a wrong turn this season.

TB at CAR: Panthers- This is the biggest regular season game for Carolina in its history. National audience, primetime game, division rival, and playing for the lead in the NFC South. It's the perfect storm for the city to get hyped and hopefully they represent the town well. Maybe even the club level crowd will put down their wine and cheer for the whole game.

This week's Clue factoid centers on Bill Henderson who plays a cop who comes to investigate the dinner party. He is quite inept at his job as he allows himself to walk by a bunch of dead people and then get himself locked in the library and subsequently hit over the head with a lead pipe. So in a sense he was a lead pipe lock to be one of the victims in the movie....I'll show myself out.

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Week 13 NFL Mr. Green Locks

I'm throwing this together today because obviously tomorrow is Thanksgiving and the bossman has given the office a half day today! Last week my upsets were way off but I still came out 4 games up and push myself over the century mark for wins. Another abbreviated version of my NFL picks after the break.

Last Week: 10-6
Season: 107-68

TEN at DET: Titans- It's going to be a gloomy scene in the motor city this year.

SEA at DAL: Cowboys- Another clunker. Unless you enjoy torture turn the volume to zero on this broadcast.

ARI at PHI: Cardinals- Speaking of gloomy atmospheres, D-Nabb might want to invest in some ear plugs.

CAR at GB: Panthers- I think the Panthers will turn this around and have the Lambeau faithful turning on Rodgers.

IND at CLE: Colts- And like that (puff), Brady's gone.

BAL at CIN: Ravens- Baltimore better take this win while they can get it.

SF at BUF: Bills- The Bills have really shown they can beat up on the bad teams (except the Browns).

DEN at NYJ: Jets- Is this really happening?

NYG at WSH: Giants- I never expected the Giants to be this good.

NO at TB: Bucs- You're not dropping 51 on Tampa.

MIA at STL: Dolphins- There will be no further ramming in St. Louis this year.

ATL at SD: Chargers- Funny that this outcome would be kind of an upset.

KC at OAK: Chiefs- The Apple Cup of the NFL.

PIT at NE: Patriots- This should be a good one.

CHI at MIN: Bears- The game clock should go by quick with all the running in this one.

JAC at HOU: Texans- This game falls under the "somewhat unappealing" category.

The quick Clue fact today since I'm about to breeze out of the office is focused on food since we are on the eve of Thankgsgiving. As the guests sit down to dinner they begin eating a Cantonese dish which is later revealed to be monkey's brains. Enjoy the games and the holiday.

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Week 12 NFL Mr. Green Locks

After the first few games of last week it appeared I was heading for a bad week, but I got most of the late ones to end up with another respectable performance. The boss man has me working hard today so I'll try to keep this short, sweet and to the point. This week's picks after the break.

Last Week: 10-6
Season: 97-62

CIN at PIT: Steelers- Does this one really require an explanation?

TB at DET: Bucs- The Lions have continued to improve, and with Graham on the shelf this could be a trap game for the Bucs, but seriously I can't pick Detroit.

PHI at BAL: Ravens- The Ravens will show some defensive pride in this one after getting rolled in New York last week and the Eagles will probably show some more poor decision-making.

HOU at CLE: Browns- Winning this game will give Cleveland fans hope, and like Red said in The Shawshank Redemption, hope can be a dangerous thing.

SF at DAL: Cowboys- In tough times, companies like to stick to what they know will work and the NFL and the media know that the Cowboys have a huge, if not utterly annoying and stupid, fanbase.

NYJ at TEN: Titans- I think the Titans defense will cause a lot of disruption to the Jets' offense. Personally I hope Tennessee wins this game by 30.

MIN at JAC: Vikings- Simply because they appear on the way up as the Jags look they are beginning to unravel.

BUF at KC: Chiefs- Yeah, I think it's going to get that bad for the Bills.

NE at MIA: Patriots- Man this is a hard game to pick but the extra days of rest and preparation should lead to a classic Belichick performance on the field.

CHI at STL: Bears- The Rams are a good team to lick your wounds against.

OAK at DEN: Broncos- Congrats Broncos you are the Cardinals of the AFC.

CAR at ATL: Falcons- Gasp! XM and Catfish will hate me for this but I think the Panther's struggles from the last couple of weeks bite them this week. I do hope I'm wrong though.

WSH at SEA: Seahawks- Zorn and company get a rude welcome back.

NYG at ARI: Giants- Sorry K-man but I think the Giants will win even though Jacobs is a question mark.

IND at SD: Colts- Years ago it would be considered luck that Indy won those close games earlier in the season, but now it is simply that they have won the big ones and know how to finish games now. Meanwhile, I have a special "Lights Out" dance I want to dedicate to the Chargers on their mid-field logo.

GB at NO: Packers- With Rodgers finally healthy and the defense getting back on its feet, Green Bay is ready for a good stretch run.

The Clue moment of this week inspired by our Mr. Green's lead pipe locks focuses again on Tim Curry. So many memorbale roles for this actor, but one of our favorites was in the movie Congo, which basically took the brilliant book of the late Michael Crichton, threw it on a pile of manure, and pissed on it. Curry's character, Herkermer Homolka, wasn't even in the freaking book! We basically love this movie because of how ridiculously bad it is. There are some great quotes though, including the scene below. Until next time, STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!

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Week 11 NFL Mr. Green Locks

Another week of picks went somewhat successfully last week as my season pick percentage sits at .644. Now I know a monkey throwing darts at a wall could probably get roughly the same amount of picks right, but jokes on you, I don't play darts. On to this week's picks after the break.

Last Week: 8-5
Season: 87-56

NYJ at NE: Patriots- This may be a little homerish of me, but I do think that Cassel is playing better and that the Pats will force Favre into making some mistakes, but not having Adalius Thomas hurts them. Should be a great game to watch so coupled with the UM game tonight, it will be a nerve-wracking evening at the wing shack.

DEN at ATL: Falcons- My days of doubting the Falcons are over. Matt Ryan and Michael Turner have made a lot of prognosticators eat their words this year.

MIN at TB: Bucs- The warm Tampa weather and the rested Bucs will make for an uncomfortable stay for Gus and the Vikings.

BAL at NYG: Ravens- My upset special for the week. I don't fully believe the Ravens D can slow down Brandon Jacobs and Eli, but I wouldn't be shocked by it.

OAK at MIA: Dolphins- The sea-faring mammals get to sit back and enjoy the 1:00 start for the west coast team which also happens to be the Raiders while the Jets and Patriots beat each other senseless.

NO at KC: Saints- The Chiefs have not given up this year under Herm and I expect them to battle in this one. Tyler Thigpen has played better than people thought possible after his first appearance this year.

DET at CAR: Panthers- The Panthers had their "let's play like we suck" game last week and managed to win it, there should be a sharp looking playoff team out there in Charlotte on Sunday and no I don't mean the Lions.

PHI at CIN: Eagles- The Bengals front line will seem docile compared to what the Eagles tried to run through(twice including 4th down) last week.

CHI at GB: Bears- The groans for number 4 will increase exponentially in cheese country if the Pack loses this game and the Jets win theirs.

Hou at IND: Colts- The Colts will make the playoffs this year, I'm saying it now.

TEN at JAC: Titans- Has anyone noticed all twwl has done for the 9-0 Titans is show their remaining schedule in reference to their unbeaten season so far? Last year it was flashy graphics and machine-like sound effects for the Patriots; "Moss, Brady....pursuit of perfection."

ARI at SEA: Cardinals- The birds got over a huge hump on Monday by outlasting the 49ers, they now have the confidence they need to finish off the weaker opponents.

STL at SF: 49ers- Singletary will get his first win if his team plays like it did on Monday.

SD at PIT: Steelers- Zero conversation going on about the Chargers right now. I'll start some: they're overrated, the end.

DAL at WSH: Redskins- Both teams are having to battle for their playoff lives after being considered shoe-ins earlier. The Redskins have performed better with their backs against the wallthis year while Dallas threw-up all over itself.

CLE at BUF: Browns- Cheer up Buffalonians, the Sabres are doing well!

I know everyone is excited for Clue fun factoid this week and here it is: Howard Hesseman. Howard played the role of the undercover police chief posing as a religous zealot. He tells Mrs. Peacock "repent, the kingdom of heaven is at hand." then arrests her, brilliant cinema. You may know Howard from his other roles like Johnny "Dr. Fever" Caravella in WKRP in Cincinnati but his most memorable role for me was as the teacher Charlie Moore in Head of the Class. I loved that show, even though I was young I had a serious boy crush on Simone(played by Khrystyne Haje), yowza. Robin Givens was also on the show which centered around a class of intelectually gifted but socially inept high school students and their teacher. After Givens' marraige to Mike Tyson it's hard to believe she could be intellectually superior to a potato.

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Week 10 NFL Mr. Green Locks

Another week has passed and over time my pick percentage is increasing. Last week was a good week for picks and I hope to continue the trend. Read on for my week 10 picks.


Last Week: 10-4
Season: 79-51

DEN at CLE: Browns- Browns win but Quinn is less than impressive I think.

TEN at CHI: Titans- Be prepared to hear the term "manage the game" at least 30,000 times during the previews of this game and the broadcast itself. The Sex Cannon receives a bum deal having to go against the Titans in his first start.

JAC at DET: Lions- With the Jags in disarray, and the possibility of Culpepper starting, this is my upset special of the week.

SEA at MIA: Dolphins- The topic that most media outlets jumped on because they are too unoriginal to develop their own NFL stories was whether the Dolphins can win the AFC East. Of course they can and they probably will win Sunday.

GB at MIN: Packers- Somewhere the plan went horribly wrong for the Vikings. Tavaris Jackson was supposed to slowly guide the ship as Purple Jesus ran over people and the diuretic fueled D-line plugged up the opposing attack. The Packers are hanging by a thread and cannot afford to lose this one.

BAL at HOU: Ravens- The Texans seem to take one step forward one week and then two steps back the next.

STL at NYJ: Jets- Not only do I predict the Jets winning, I predict it will be as ugly as their last two wins.

NO at ATL: Saints- Week off for the Saints, criss-cross country travel for the Falcons and Matt Ryan due for a rookie-type game.

BUF at NE: Patriots- The dream continues to slip away for Buffalo, but cheer up it's hockey season! The Patriots concoct a win in this one.

CAR at OAK: Panthers- It is the Mortal Kombat moment for Carolina in this one; the Raiders are standing in a daze...FINISH HIM!

IND at PIT: Steelers- If the banged up Patriots defense held the Colts to 18 points at home, the Steeler D should make them pay on the road.

KC at SD: Chargers- The Chargers have no one to blame but themselves (and Norv) if they can't come back and win the AFC West.

NYG at PHI: Eagles- It's statement time for the Eagles, prove you're a playoff team or get out of the way.

SF at ARI: Cardinals- MNF for these two and it's not even in Mexico City! The Cards flex their muscles on the national stage in this one.

For the Clue fun fact this week we focus on the year the movie came out, 1985. Ronald Regan began his second term as president, the world was introduced to New Coke, the first Nintendo was released in America, and Reggie Bush was born. In sports Dan Marino got his ass handed to him by Joe Montana in Dan's only Super Bowl appearance, Villanova pulled a huge upset over Georgetown in the Final Four, the Lakers beat the Celtics in 6, and Don Denkinger became hated for all time in St. Louis. Time may pass, but bitterness over sports injustices never fades away.

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Week 9 Mr. Green Locks

I pulled the same score this week as I did last week but still not able to have an ultra week of picks so I try again. Lots of compelling games so let's take a look.

Last Week: 9-5
Season: 69-47

NYJ at BUF: Bills- In my opinion the Bills are a team that is for real, they are just not really that great..yet. They should bounce back at home against the Jets who have been shaky against lowly competition the last few weeks.

DET at CHI: Bears- The Lions' magical mystery tour rolls on into Chicago this week and it should be a hard days night as the Detroit fans gently weep.

JAC at CIN: Jaguars- Not to be outdone by the Lions, the Bengals are 0-8 to Detroit's 0-7 and unless Jacksonville has comepletely fallen apart, it will be 0-9.

BAL at CLE: Ravens- It's amazing with all the venom that is spewed toward Romeo Crennel the Browns are still only one game under .500. I forsee the Ravens defense continuing to play well while it looks as if the offense might be gaining some momentum.

TB at KC: Bucs- After a tough loss at Dallas this should be a good recovery game for Tampa, but as the Jets showed last week, you still need to execute.

HOU at MIN: Texans- These appear to be two teams passing each other in the elevator as Houston goes up and the Vikings go down. Kubiak finally has them playing according to his gameplan, now it's time to see if they can do it on the road.

ARI at STL: Cardinals- Arizona might have lost last week but they showed they were a different team than in years past. Warner will get the primetime receivers he ahs the ball and James/Hightower in the backfield has been a great combo. Here is the Cards' chance to put distance between them and the rest of the NFC West.

GB at TEN: Titans- I feel very insecure in picking Tennessee even though I think they should win. The Titans are now on everyone's radar after beating the Colts Monday night and now the only team with a perfect record will now feel the media blitz as they continue winning. It's that situation where a team that isn't used to being in the spotlight all by its lonesome plays the no respect card, but then when all eyes are on them, they very well may wilt under the pressure. All that being said, as long as they do not commit turnovers, they should come out on top.

MIA at DEN: Dolphins- I don't care what anyone says, nobody has a clue who is going to win this game, it is a complete toss up. The Broncos have been in a downward spiral and it is going to take more than Cutler's bionic arm to get them out.

DAL at NYG: Giants- New York gets extremely lucky facing Dallas in their current condition. Not that the Giants couldnt stand toe to toe with them if they ahd their full line-up but it should be too much Giants in the end. Hey Brad Johnson, Mr. Tuck would like a word with you.

ATL at OAK: Falcons- I really wish I could have seen what the Falcons and Matt Ryan would have done if the refs didn't blow that call in the 4th quarter last week. You wonder how they missed it when you see the replay of the player not coming close to touching the punt with Atlanta down 7. This is a bad trap game for the Falcons so we'll see how Ryan handles his first trip to the black hole (stop giggling).

PHI at SEA: Eagles- I hope Seahawk fans enjoyed that win last week against the 49ers, you might not see another one for awhile.

NE at IND: Colts- With all that has happened this game seemingly has lost its luster but now it turns out it jsut has different implications than we thought. While the Patriots are wrestling with the Bills for control of the AFC East, the Colts are fighting for their playoff life.

PIT at WSH: Redskins- Popular belief has the Steelers as the one of the top 2 or 3 teams of the AFC, but with the pounding they have taken and will take, the Ravens will be right on their heels throughout and in a clash of two huge fan bases, the crowd should be plenty riled up on Monday night.

The Clue factoid this week takes a look at Mrs. Peacock, played by Eileen Brennan. In the movie she is a senator's wife, which again since I was young had no idea what that meant, but now, you can see how easy it is to believe that her and her husband were taking money from lobbyists. Her imdb listing has more credits than I can count, but the one that stuck out to me was the role of Billie in The Sting. This was one of my favorite movies of all time as well and having recently lost Paul Newman, it seems nice to tie that movie in.

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Week 8 Mr. Green Locks

I'm posting my NFL picks a day early because I will be heading down to Miami this weekend for Wake Forest-Miami game. A week ago was my best week in awhile, but still not that great of a performance on my NFL picks last week. What I thought were sure picks like Indy, Dallas, and the Jets kept me from a great week. What games will I fudge this week? Continue on to find out.

Last Week: 9-5
Season: 60-42

OAK at BAL: Ravens- The Raiders got a win over the Jets thanks to the big boot of Sebastian last week, but heading to the east coast and facing the Ravens D might lead to a 6,3, or 0 point performance.

ARI at CAR: Panthers- A game between two teams that can reverse their level of play week to week. The 1:00 start helps the Panthers and so does the fact that unlike other years, they are strong at home this year(5-0).

TB at DAL: Bucs- Be prepared for many shots of a frustrated Jerry Jones on the sidelines or up in the box during this game. Gruden may be familiar with how to stop Brad Johnson after the success they had together. Just look to how bad he made Gannon look in the Super Bowl.

WSH at DET: Redskins- The Redskins have looked very shaky ever since they won consecutively in Dallas and Philly, but seriously, are the Lions going to be picked in any game they have left? That being said I give Orlovsky credit for showing some fight last week and I do think the Lions will catch someone sleeping before the end of the season, I just won't be picking it.

BUF at MIA: Dolphins- What used to be a yawn-fest will actually be a competitive game with AFC East implications. I think Sporano and crew right the ship this week.

STL at NE: Patriots- The Patriots are being decimated by injuries, but again, no one else in the league cares. You would think before the season started and even after Brady went down, the Rams would have no chance in this game, but after the last two weeks it will be no cake-walk. That being said, a hobbled Stephen Jackson helps the Pats' chances.

SD at NO: Chargers- The Saints are going to miss Reggie Bush badly in this game and the NFL misses out on a chance to showcase him to the English. I am not a fan of this game but I also don't subscribe to whining about the miles traveled by the teams. The Charges need a win, and so far they have picked one up everytime they needed one this season. That sound you here is the analysts leaping from the Saints bandwagon.

ATL at PHI: Eagles- Another compelling match-up of a avian variety. Matt Ryan has shown he has the stuff, but Jim Johnson is going to release the hounds and that will be enough to force some crucial turnovers. Odds on seeing a Eagles-Phillies half and half jersey? 3:1

KC at NYJ: Jets- Farve can deny all he wants, but if Jay Glazer told me he had inside info on the color of an NFL player's underwear, I would trust him. Still, the Chiefs are wallowing in incompitence and the injuries at QB don't help. Jets roll, and roll big.

CLE at JAC: Jaguars- The Browns has risen the level of their play, but it was painful watching them try to muster a tie against the Redskins last week. The Jags are coming off a bye week and should be ready to go and make a run at a playoff spot.

CIN at HOU: Texans- The Texans are quietly closing in on respectability and Andre Johnson is a big reason why. The man can play the position, no doubt and as long as Schaub can sling it, he'll catch it. Somewhere, Duke is yelling at Carson Palmer in Rocky fashion, "Stay down Carson, stay down!"

NYG at PIT: Steelers- I do think the Giants will put a hurt on Big Ben, but New York has looked off-kilter the last couple of weeks. It should be a great game to watch and I'm sure all the Pittsburgh fans at the Ketchup bottle will be ready to go.

SEA at SF: 49ers- For Mike Singletary's first game, they have rolled out an easy one for him. The Seahawks are the walking wounded right now. I definitely do not think it will be pretty, but it will be a win.

IND at TEN: Titans- People are talking about the Titans, but this will be their official coming out party. Peyton better watch himself because I have a feeling Haynesworth and Van DenBosch are out for blood.

It's Clue fun factoid time and to be honest, I don't know if I can through 17 of these plus the playoffs but today we focus on Lesley Ann Warren. She played Miss Scarlet in the film and in the movie her character was the madam of a D.C. house of ill repute. Again when I watched this movie over and over again as a kid, I had no idea what that was but I kind of got the idea. Warren has had a long list of roles in her career, including Lula in Stone Country. You know Stone Country, it is the George Strait movie CMT plays all the time, ok maybe you don't watch CMT. Lately she has been working in TV as Jinx in "In Plain Sight", Tina in "Will and Grace" and Sophie in "Desperate Housewives". Enjoy the weekend and the games all.

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Week 7 NFL Mr. Green Locks

We take a look at my NFL picks this week on the heels of a .500 performance last week. To be fair there were some upsets and many of the games were decided at the last second. Week 7 provides us with more intriguing match-ups in which no clear cut favorite presents itself, but hey, you have a 50/50 chance in each game right? Continue on for my picks.

Last Week: 7-7
Season: 51-37

SD at BUF: Bills- The San Diego I know will have a let down after their big win over the Patriots on Sunday night. They are also traveling to the East Coast for a 1:00 kick-off and the Bills are coming off a bye week.

NO at CAR: Panthers- The mood was very somber in Panthertown this week, but despite the missing Carolina Cat I thik the Panthers will bounce back.

MIN at CHI: Bears- Adrian Peterson lit the Bears up last year and he has had two bad games in a row so conventional wisdom says to take the Vikings. But as you have learned if you visit this site often, I am neither conventional or wise.

PIT at CIN: Steelers- The Steelers were probably never more thankful to get a bye week than last week and what better opponent coming out than the Bengals.

TEN at KC: Titans- The Larry Johnson suspension seemingly makes this an easier pick, but with the Titans brand of offensive football, no game is in the bag for Tennessee. The one game the Chiefs won this year came from taking advantage of many Denver turnovers, if the Titans don't protect the ball, they will lose in a field goal battle.

BAL at MIA: Dolphins- It is time to see if Rex Ryan and his defense has anything to counter the single wing. After the embarassment the Colts gave the Ravens last week, I expect a solid effort, but with Sporano calmly at the helm and Pennington managing the offense, the Dolphins run game should provide them with a win.

SF at NYG: Giants- I expect Eli to play and play well enough to get the win. Again, the 49ers have to play a good team coming off a frustrating loss as they did last week against Philly and the week before against the Patriots.

DAL at STL: Cowboys- Even if Romo is a no go, I expect Dallas to pound the Rams. Unless Jim Haslett has more miracles nestled away in his bag. Dallas actually was smart in having a (somewhat) competent back-up in Brad Johnson [insert Brad Johnson is old joke here, I always enjoy a Methusula reference].

DET at HOU: Texans- Dan Orlovsky has taken a lot of heat for his mistake last week but he had his team in the game late at least, which is more than Kitna was doing. With Detroit shipping away Roy Williams and the benching of Kitna, the Lions are in full play-for-next-year mode.

IND at GB: Colts- It is pretty funny how the Colts are taking no heat for covering up Peyton's other knee procedure but heaven forbid we talk ill of pastor Dungy. Still, with all the turmoil, the Colts are back on track as they proved alst week by hammering the defense of the Ravens. The banged up D of Green Bay should be no problem.

NYJ at OAK: Jets- Tom Cable should do a State Farm commerical where he talks about what it's like to coach the Raiders with no future in sight, "Yeah, I'm there." Favre goes happy-go-jacky on the Raiders secondary like a donkey eating Wrangler jeans.

CLE at WSH: Redskins- Washington had it all figured out, they were going to wipe the floor with the Rams, Browns, and Lions and go 7-1. Instead they forgot to take care of the ball or to fall on it. Cleveland looked good against the Giants on Monday night, but they will have to do it on the road this time to prove they are back to capable.

SEA at TB: Bucs- The Bucs are playing Monte Kiffin defense and despite the cat fight between Garcia and Gruden, Jeff knows how to run a West Coast offense. The Seahawks are heading straight for "most dissapointing team" on the TWWL's idiotic Coors Light six pack of questions.

DEN at NE: Broncos- Even if the Pats win it will be a hard game to watch. If the game does get out of hand like ti did against San Diego look out for the smug alert of fans in the stands saying "Well at least we have the Sox(if they are still playing)/Celtics)." Any Patriot fan from outside of Boston hates Boston fans just as much as everyone else does.

Now it's time for another fun Clue factoid. One of the writers of the movie was Jonathan Landis, along with director Jonathan Lynn. Landis, as you may or may not remember was the director of Michael Jackson's "Thriller". In case you are not familiar with that epic piece of film, here is a rendition of it...using legos....awesome.

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Week 6 NFL Mr. Green Locks

I know this post usually goes up on Friday but due to an extremely busy day at work that was impossible. So instead I sit here on a Saturday morning picking my NFL games tomorrow instead of laying in bed half awake with cottonmouth wondering how long I can lay there until I have to go to the bathroom and consequently wake up. My call for a perfect week last week was gone pretty quick into last week although this week I was able to stay above .500. I was particularly happy with my Redskins pick and thoroughly disappointed with my San Diego pick. Let’s take a look at my picks for this week’s games…shall we?


Last Week: 8-6
Season: 44-30

STL at WSH: Redskins- After the tough road trip the ‘Skins have a relatively easy home stand coming up in which they could realistically be 7-1 halfway through. The Jim Haslett era begins for the Rams, and sir I say good luck to you.


MIA at HOU: Dolphins- Sometimes the illusion of confidence can still represent confidence. The Dolphins are no longer an automatic win for opponents and they have no sympathy for the winless Texans.


DET at MIN: Vikings- After escaping the Superdome with a victory Monday Night, the Vikes should return to .500 against the Lions. Last year losing to the Lions was bad, this year it would be considered an embarrassment. Adrian Peterson last year followed his bad games with ridiculous ones, I’m calling at least 175 on the ground for A-Pete.


OAK at NO: Saints- I doubt Al Davis is going to be any happier with Tom Cable than he was with Lane Kiffin as far as results go, but as long as he can phone down a play or two, Al should be happy. It’s not the losing Al wasn’t happy with it was the lies that went “in the past weeks, and months, and a year.” I honestly have no clue how the Raiders players get in the right mental frame of mind except to tell each other let’s win this for us and screw Davis and management. Considering the type of players the Raiders have drafted and signed, I highly doubt it.


CAR at TB: Panthers- This game is huge, but it isn’t everything. If the Panthers win they get a 2 game lead in the division with 10 to go so it does not seal it. However, the Bucs definitely do not want to fall that far behind and if the Panthers have another great performance on both sides of the ball they could start to be mentioned among the NFC elite. These two teams have one of the most underrated rivalries in the NFL.. The game is always hard-hitting and competitive no matter where the teams are in the standings. From Julius Peppers rupturing Chris Simms’ spleen to last second victories this has always been a fun game to watch and this week should be no different.


JAC at DEN: Broncos- After the Jags thought they had everything figured out they got beat by the Steelers Sunday night. The Broncos showed they can win ugly last week against Tampa Bay and as long as they don’t turn the ball over(too cliché?) they should get the win at home.


CIN at NYJ: Jets- Ryan Fitzpatrick, I salute your confidence, but the Jets are coming off a bye and Favre is more than likely gonna light your secondary up.


BAL at IND: Colts- The Colts have been finding ways to win to get to 2-2 and the Ravens have found ways to lose to get to 2-2. I suspect the Ravens will hold a 6-3 lead until the 4th quarter when a busted coverage following a personal foul penalty by the Ravens leads to a Reggie Wayne winning TD.


CHI at ATL: Bears- This is a tough one to pick because the Falcons looked good on offense last week but against a banged up defense and the Bears looked good on offense last week, but it was against the Lions. I’m picking this one based on the Bears having a better defense than the Falcons, but it should be close.


PHI at SF: Eagles- I have no reason to root for McNabb other than the fact that I respect him and all he has gone through at Philly. Getting booed for Philly not taking Ricky Williams(good call!) then suffering through those first couple of seasons when he had nothing around him, all the way to injuries and the Super Bowl loss/Owens fall out. McNabb went vocal this week and I think it will get the Eagles through this week, but will the Eagles ever see a healthy McNabb and Westbrook through a season? I also like Mike Nolan, and his 49er teams have always played hard for him, but whether it’s personnel or just bad breaks, it looks like another losing season for him and most likely his last in San Francisco.


GB at SEA: Seahawks- Seattle is decimated with injuries, but so is Green Bay. If you’re going to have a 3rd string QB start, it’s not too bad for it to be Charlie Frye. Of course I say this now, but then there Woodson will be tomorrow streaking down the sideline for a pick-6. If I am right about this game, it is officially panic time in Wisconsin.


Dallas at ARI: Cardinals- Yes I’m going out on a limb for this one. If Boldin is out that really hurts the Cards, but Steve Breaston has been solid for them so far. The Cowboys have been in a haze the last two weeks so if the Cards get up early, it should continue. The atmosphere should be rowdy in the Pink Taco and with Terrence Newman out of commission; some 3 WR sets should be effective.


NE at SD: Chargers- No this is not a typo, I am picking against my team. This is another back-against-the-wall game for the Chargers and it’s at home and against a team that they loathe. Matt Cassel should have at least 3 picks if not more; Cromartie is not going to stand for him staring down receivers and like A-Pete, LT usually follows his bad games with good ones. If Belichick pulls this one off, you can’t help but tip your hat to him.


NYG at CLE: Giants- I mentioned last week that Giant fans would start undefeated talk after they beat Seattle and I’m sure some have, But objective people just look at playing Dallas and Philly twice and at Washington and say no chance. I suspect it will get so ugly Brady Quinn will come into the game and Tony will try to drag Jaws and Tirico into a discussion about politics and the locker room. This is why I hate the hype machine, this should not be an issue, so Brady Quinn supports McCain, so what? He was not prancing around the Browns’ locker room in Republican tights(to my knowledge) he was just at a rally supporting the candidate he wants to win, away from the field, locker room, practice field, training center and press conferences.


For the Clue factoid for this week we turn to Tim Curry who played Wadsworth. In the third ending he turns out to be Mr. Body but gets shot in the hall by Mr. Green, with the revolver. Curry has had quite an interesting film history. Some prefer to remember him as the transvestite in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I like to remember his performances in The Hunt for Red October and of course, Muppet Treasure Island. Is it just me or do the Muppet movies and Muppets in general rule? Anyway, enjoy the games and remember: no politics at the dinner table.

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Week 5 NFL Mr. Green Locks

A less than stellar week on my picks last week has left me determined to go perfect this week. I finished 6-7, very dissapointing. I'm calling my shot I'm not going to miss one pick, lead pipe in the lounge lock it. It's like the scene in White Men Can't Jump where Billy is asking Gloria to play one more game and says he will guarentee victory. Of course since there is no recourse if I miss a pick, don't hold me too strongly to being right. Let's go to the picks.

Last week: 6-7
Season: 36-24

TEN at BAL: Titans- A reprisal of the hard-nosed, entertaining play-rivalry these two have had in the last 10 years. Should be just as hard hitting as the Pittsburgh/Baltimore Monday night game. I think the Titans just have more to offer on offense than the Ravens.

KC at CAR: Panthers- Classic trap game for the Panthers, but the way the offense was clicking last week, it seems they finally have a balanced attack again. Steve Smith is like the Juggernaut(bitch), let him get a head of steam and will be unstoppable. However, Smitty did ot make his helmet in the 4th grade. The Chiefs did prove last week they actually can win though, and it is on the Panthers D to stop LJ early.

SD at MIA: Chargers- The Dolphins have had a week to rest and no doubt they will again bring out the single wing/wingle flipper/wild dolphin/Flipper on meth formation that had so much success against the Patriots. If the Chargers defense is smart(cough) they will be ready for it. I expect the Dolphins to be in this game until the very end, but San Diego should be able to outscore them in the end.

WAS at PHI: Redskins- You're asking a lot of a team to go back-to-back weeks on the road against teams of the caliber of Dallas and Philly, but I doubted the 'Skins last week and they showed me something. If their secondary plays like it did against Dallas and factoring in that the Eagles have no Jason Witten, I think the Redskins come away with a win and the Eagles become the best 2-3 team in history.

IND at HOU: Colts- Houston is staring 0-4 in the face, but it could be worse if not for the hurricane they could be staring 0-5 in the face. The Colts are always played tough by the Texans and Houston actually did play well last week against the Jags, but Peyton will find a way, and the week of rest is exactly what they needed.

SEA at NYG: Giants- If they haven't already, some Giants fans will be stroking their facial hair and thinking, "if we can just get by Dallas and Washington twice, we will go unbeaten!" Of course, this rationale is ridiculous, but then again I know a few Giant fans. Even without Plaxico, the running game is going to overpwoer a Seattle team that has really fallen below expectations. Mike Holmgren could rally the troops for a late season surge, but they traded for Keary Colbert...I'll give you a moment to let that sink in as to where their team stands.

ATL at GB: Packers- If you're going to have Aaron Rodgers miss a game, this would be a choice one. It's time for the Green bay running game to make some plays, this should not all be on the Packers' QB, especially with that defense. If the Falcons win this game, it is going to be hysteria in Wisconsin Sunday night, the cows might give sour milk.

CHI at DET: Bears- Are you ready for post-Matt Millen football? I know the Lions are! But getting rid of the guy that caused a lot of your problems doesn't get rid of your problems. A heavy dose of Matt Forte with a splash of neckbeard should secure this one for Chicago.

TB at DEN: Bucs- Griese returns to another stadium that spurned his services, and I forsee a duplication of when he went to Chicago. Except the Bucs will wisely run the ball more. Denver has been awful on defense and there is no reason Earnest Graham won't duplicate what Larry Johnson did last week.

BUF at ARI: Bills- I don't think the Cardinals can play mistake proof football consistently. This is their chance to bounce back and prove me wrong and do it against a good football team.

NE at SF: Patriots- I don't know how artistic it will be, but I believe the Pats will survive this game. Belichick has no doubt been riding the defense hard for their performance against the Dolphins and I think he knows how to make adjustments and where to make them. The 49ers are playing better than last year and I expect them to be in the game late. Finally, the epic J.T. O'Sullivan/Matt Cassel QB match-up.

CIN at DAL: Cowboys- Cowyboys team that knows they can game plan better than they did last week, Chad Johnson shooting off his mouth about his 0-4 Bengals team, yeah this one won't be close.

PIT at JAC: Jaguars- The battle of attrition is going to leave the Steelers hobbling by Week 14. Signing Davenport is a nice move, but the Jags D are no cupcakes. The Steelers got a gift from the Ravens on Monday night, don't expect the same thing from the Jags on a short week.

MIN at NO: Saints- With the way Brees and the Saints offense is paying, I don't expect the Vikings defense to be able to bail out the Vikings lack of TD scoring in this one. The Saints have now found Lance Moore, another former FCS receiver that can make plays also Deuce is returning and the more weapons the Saints have, the more effective Bush becomes.

Bye: NYJ,OAK,STL,CLE

It's Clue fun-fact time again. This week we look at Martin Mull, who played Colonel Mustard. Mull was a bit rotund in the movie although in his later roles he would slim down. His true passion is art and he even wrote a book called "Painting, Drawing, and the World". Have a great weekend everyone, if there is any communicae over the weekend, it will be from the sharp eye and razor wit of Catfish.

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