NFL Week 1 De-Cleeting: Inconceivable!

"You keep using that word, I don't think it means what you think it means." Catfish has figuratively dunked my head in a barrel of cold water a la Fezzik to Indigo Montoya in The Princess Bride regarding the Brady injury. It was hard to get over something like that, but the rest of the season is still in front of us. So, let us begin by recapping the action I observed from Week 1.

The Zornography has begun (WSH 7, NYG 16)

The Redskins looked less than impressive Thursday and most of it was due to their own ineptitutde. Jason Campbell looked uncomfortable in the pocket, mainly because he had defenders in his face all night. Zorn has a lot of work to do on offense, but their D did hold pretty steady. The Giants did not look all that great on offense themselves although they did put together some nice drives. It can't be said yet if the Giants will be as effective as last year, but then again no one knew last year how good they were until they won it all.

Roscoe's Chicken and Special Teams (SEA 10, BUF 14)

Not much reason to not love watching Roscoe Parrish weave through the Seattle return coverage, spin, and then blow past every would-be tackler unless you are a Seahawk fan. Seattle special teams was horrid, not only giving up that TD to Roscoe, but also fumbling a kick-off return and falling for the "Water Bucket Play", number 8 on Catfish's list of trick plays. There is cause for optimisim in Buffalo, especially is Trent Edwards plays mistake free football.

Biggie and Slim Shady (DET 21, ATL 34)

I don't think there is mroe disparity between body types of a team's two running backs than Michael Turner and Jerious Norwood. It didn't seem to matter which body was out there against the Lions though, as they racked up over 300 yards rushing. Matt Ryan looked impressive and there is cause for hope, but Arthur Blank should not give Mike Smith too big of a man-hug yet, it was only the Lions. Meanwhile in Detroit, I imagine preparations are being made for basketball and hockey season.

Dnabb and DeShean (STL 3, PHI 38)

Again, the opponent must be considered but the Eagles looked mighty impressive in their shalacking of the Rams. DeShean Jackson has confirmed what we knew in college: he is fast. Scott Linehan is probably close to being shown the door after this season unless they turn it around. Bulger does not look as dynamic as he once did, and the defense looks pourous to put it mildly. If McNabb gets the time he got on Sunday, look out NFC.

Houston, we've had a beating (Hou 17, PIT 38)

76 points scored by both Pennsylvania teams. Tomlin has the defense playing the same aggressive style as Cowher and it appears they still have th personnel to do it. The Texans looked extremely flat which will get you humiliated at Hienz Field. Based on Sunday's results (which again is only 1 week) the Steelers again look to win the AFC North with ease although it is not wise to rush to judgement.

Let's get another shot of Kim Kardashian in the stands please./sarcasm (TB 20, NO 24)

Anyone else have the feeling the Saints' players are getting tired of reciting hurricane compassion lines? Drew Brees continues to throw a pretty deep ball and Sean Payton is utilizing Reggie Bush in anyway possible except as a traditional running back. But that's the way he needs to be used. Getting him the ball outside where he can use his speed and moves and giving him a chance to change directions on the defenders is clearly what his role in the NFL should be. Just like Mario Williams was out to prove he deserved the number 1 pick, Bush is out to prove the media was justified in its outrage of his going number 2. The Tampa defense began to show its age in the second half, and suddenly the NFC South looks quite competitive.

Wrangler Jean sales in New York/New Jersey have sky-rocketed (NYJ 20, MIA 14)

Jets fans must think that the stars are aligned for them this year. First landing Favre and then having Brady go down. The much improved O-line was the difference in this game and Thomas Jones looked good. Miami still has ways to go, but they could surprise a few teams this season. Chad Pennington was unable to inflict revenge on the Jets but he had the Dolphins close in the end. Even a 4th down, throw it into the sun fling by Favre was completed for six. The Jets can win winnable games now, but can they win the tough ones ahead?

Catfish has the breakdown on the Carolina/San Diego game (Car 26, SD 24)

Oil Spill (CHI 29, IND 13)

I have to hand it to Lovie Smith and his staff for coming in with a great game plan. We don't know how off Peyton is, but the Bears were the agressor and it did take Indy missing some opportunities for the Bears to pull away, but virtually no one outside of Chicago had them winning this one. Marvin Harrison looked out of sync and had a key fumble. The Bears running attack looks potent with Forte and Kevin Jones being a solid back-up, and as always the Bears reap the rewards of having Devin Hester with good field position (except when Hester tried to pull a fast one on a kick-off). The use of the two tight ends Greg Olsen and Desmond Clark was a great wrinkle and Orton looked like he can manage the team id the defense stays healthy (i'm looking at you Mike Brown).

No one cares how Green Bay fans feel or what they think Kornheiser (MIN 19, GB 24)

I actually had to hit the mute button after awhile. Tony just could not let Favre go and after each play he would attempt to explain the fragile psyche of Packer fans. Tirico and Jaws could not help being pulled in and the whole night on the Packers possesions was spent talking about Favre. Even after Rogers made the great pass downfield to Jennings and threw the TD, Tony had promied he would stop but he won't. As far as the game went, I think the Vikings are still dangerous and blew many opportunites in the game to score. Both teams were sloppy as far as penalties, and even Green Bay did not look particularly sharp. Winning the head-to-head match-up was important for Green Bay though as I expect the division race to be a tight one.

Umm...my that was ugly by the Raiders. That is all. (DEN 41, OAK 14)