Thursday, October 23

Washington Capitals: Pros and Cons for ASD Adoption

The fourth and final team up for potential adoption is the Washington Capitals. They won the Southeast Division last season, but finished with 94 points, tied with the 8 seed. Their Young Guns may not be as good as the original Regulators and they rep Pennsylvania Ave. not 21 and Lewis, so those are some big shoes to fill. More after the break...


Alexander the Great: Any discussion of the Capitals has to begin with Ovechkin. We tend to be partial to guys that are sick on the sticks, and this is no different. A guy that score and hit like this don't come along often (ever?). He also has a song by Pummeler (song on their myspace NSFW) "(you can) spear him in the balls, (you can) check him into walls, (you can) cut him with your skate, (and yet he) never f****** falls, (if you) break his f******* nose, (then his) fire only grows, (and he may) score another goal, (before the) wound is f****** closed!" Jerry Manuel would say "that's gangsta!"

How do I follow that up? It's like someone introducing Tim Robbins, star of Shawshank Redemption and Bull Durham, and then interjecting he was also in Quarterback Princess and Cadillac Man. If we pick the Caps it's because of Ovechkin.


Bob Johnson Proxy: They play in the city that Bobcats owner Bob Johnson actually lives in. This is not looking good Caps fans.

ZHOH zay: Both of their goaltenders are in their thirties, and Jose don't call me HOE zay Theodore isn't an awe-inspiring netminder. Besides, if I get excited and yell ZHOH zay, people may misinterpret and think I'm cheering for SHA zay, and that's unacceptable.

Third Fiddle: There's no doubt they play at least second fiddle to the Redskins and depending on Hibachi's return, they could be playing third fiddle amongst Washington area sports teams. If we're going to adopt you, your own city should at least want you too.

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